LOS ANGELES — Goldfinger frontman John Feldmann took to Instagram to clarify the band’s seminal hit “Superman” was in no way or shape inspired by Dean Cain’s portrayal of the superhero, confirmed sources.
“I just want to make it perfectly clear that when I was writing ‘Superman’ it was in no way influenced by Dean Cain’s portrayal. It was purely inspired by Christopher Reeve, aging anxiety, and skateboards. The only thing Cain has inspired in me is my gag reflex when I look at his bloated head,” said Feldmann. “I know the timing looks weird with ‘Hang Ups’ coming out right after ‘Lois and Clark’ ending, but neither myself or anyone in the band would ever want to pretend to be a washed up z-list racist.”
Goldfinger fans reacted to the announcement with an overwhelming sense of relief.
“Oh thank fuck he got that all straightened out, because if I had to equate the greatest ska song of all time with a fat, source material betraying, ICE cosplaying dork, I wouldn’t be able to bing myself to play ‘Tony Hawk Pro Skateboarder’ ever again,” said fan Devin McCallister. “Now I can safely imagine myself in the shoes of David Corenswet, Henry Cavill, Chris Reeve, Tom Welling, Tyler Hoechlin, Brandon Routh, George Reeves, and Nicholas Cage in that abandoned Tim Burton project when I crank ‘Superman’ at full volume on my way to work.”
Cain responded to Feldmann’s post to defend his portrayal of Superman.
“Oh it must be soooo nice to be culturally relevant decades after your prime, mister fancy ska man. YOU try playing second fiddle to Teri Hatcher despite being cast as the most famous superhero of all time, okay,” said Cain in a 2 a.m. rant on X. “I am just as much the embodiment of Superman as all the others, and I’m sure the real life Kal El would be totally cool with rounding up immigrants and slowly tackling obstacles courses at ICE training facilities. Please someone write a song about me!”
Feldmann also followed up his post with a heads up that if anyone came across the early demo of “Superman” called “Hercules,” he was referring to the Disney film and not Kevin Sorbo.