In honor of the 20 year anniversary of their smash debut album Contraband, the surviving members of Velvet Revolver have announced a reissue that is sure to gross you out all over again!
Touting a line-up that was ⅗ Guns N’ Roses, the main guy from Stone Temple Pilots, and then just some other random guy for good measure, Velvet Revolver made music for the strip club buffet line — all meaty hooks and sensual come-hithers. As far as supergroups from the early aughts go, they were unmatched in sexual prowess that nobody asked for, with a batch of songs that seemingly leaked from the 40-year old crotches of their leather pants into the households of millions.
Now remastered and infused with Botox and other inorganic fillers (full list included with 76-page CD booklet), the physical reissue is a thing of absolute beauty, assuming you derive your beauty standards from used Maxim magazines. The impressive set includes six never-before-heard songs, most of which were admittedly written by the guy that nobody knows, along with an assortment of demos and live recordings, plus “Slither (Sex Mix)” and “Fall To Pieces (Sex Mix)”!
However, music was never the strong suit for this band, and that remains the case on this reissue, which is what makes the included sensory delights so essential. For starters, it smells. No one can quite put their finger on what it smells like, its mercurial nature an olfactory Gobstopper of sorts, but some have suggested it resembles the stench of somebody fucking a tube of Lip Smackers. Please also be advised, the physical release of the reissue is meant to be sticky and may stain surfaces when removed from its latex casing. (Please note, the Super Deluxe reissue comes in lambskin.)
The thoughtful packaging is rounded out by the crown jewel of the entire set — a hermetically sealed vial of an STD from 2005. The addition of the vintage venereal disease, curated by Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla, truly brings the party to you straight from West Hollywood! While doctors have largely advised to keep the vial sealed, it is 100% your vial upon purchase, and you are free to do with it what you will.
Pre-orders are currently live and available exclusively through your PornHub account.