RICHMOND — Local Improv Coach Amanda Paulson is struggling to reconcile her mother’s maternal dedication to her household plants, according to sources.
“Growing up, my mother treated my needs as an inconvenience. She even once said I was dramatic for needing a new coat during a mid-winter growth spurt,” said the 34-year-old. “But now she’s turned my old bedroom into an ‘orchid room.’ And yes, it’s climate-controlled. She’s even replaced all photos of me around the house with pics of peonies she’s personally grown. It just blows my mind that she is so invested. She had zero nurturing instincts when I was a child.”
Jean Paulson rolled her eyes upon hearing daughter’s statements.
“Amanda has always been, how should I put this? A lot,” said the mother of one while working her hands through the soil in a backyard garden plot. “I was sick for most of my pregnancy and it felt almost parasitic. Everyone said it would be different when she was born, but she was even more demanding ex utero. It’s no wonder she turned into a theater kid. But getting a stage and an audience didn’t stop her attention-seeking behavior. I even suggested she emancipate herself at one point so she could leave home earlier and pursue more acting jobs. But she lacked the drive. It’s sort of an ongoing issue. Oh wow, the Frangipiani is flowering! You really have to handle it with kid gloves, but what a reward upon maturation!”
For his part, Local Gardening Club President Trey Hammond is thrilled to have a volunteer like the otherwise neglectful mother.
“Jean started with an amateur interest and has really blossomed. We jokingly refer to her as ‘Plant Mommy’ because she has an almost maternal dedication,” said Hammond. “Last winter there was a terrible ice storm and our greenhouses lost power. Jean purchased a generator and delivered it at great personal risk so that the plants could continue to get UV light. I always tell Jean, ‘I wish we could take cuttings of you!’ The world would be a better place. I didn’t realize she had a daughter. She’s never mentioned her.”
At press time, Mrs. Paulson was planning to grow Amaryllis daughter bulbs in her orchid room until they were hardy enough to be moved outside, unless they showed a preference for living indoors indefinitely.