It seems like everybody these days has a cause that they truly believe in. Whether it’s fighting for a person’s right to bodily autonomy or making sure everyone who wants to vote in an election is able to safely do so, one thing is for certain: we are all constitutionally endowed with the right to freedom of expression, and it should offend all Americans equally when someone is denied this right.
Which leads us to this tragic story. Meet 57-year-old Lucas Mitchell of Columbus, OH, who was just deprived of the chance to spend his Saturday protesting a drag storytelling hour at his local library because of a simple misunderstanding in a Hardee’s parking lot last year. We’ll spare you the details of Mitchell’s arrest, which are readily available to the public via his police record and any number of archived local news articles, but suffice it to say that could have happened to anyone who needed to adjust their belt after polishing off four Biscuits ‘n Gravy combos and two Redhook Beer-Battered Fish Sandwiches in one sitting.
Because of this, Lucas is now prohibited from stepping foot within 100 yards of any location where children might congregate, which unfortunately includes Columbus Metropolitan Library. As a result, he’s now unable to join his patriotic brothers in his militia from screaming into megaphones and harassing the storytellers, children and parents as they head into the building for their story hour.
Absolutely tragic.
Should we even consider this The Land of the Free anymore? If one man is denied his right to protest based on his absurdly ill-informed and socially backwards views on drag queens just because he once accidentally subjected an entire building of fast-food consumers to an inordinately long glimpse at his penis and testicles, are any of us safe? Who’s to say you won’t be targeted the next time you try to publicly demonstrate? We say enough is enough, and it’s time for us to unite in his defense.
Our heart breaks for poor Lucas as he’s forced to spend his Saturday at home, catching up on his backlog of Ben Shapiro podcast episodes and regurgitating what he’s hearing into a steady stream of misspelled Facebook posts that would make his family sick with shame and embarrassment had they not blocked him years ago. If there were any fairness in this world, he’d be out in front of that library making his entire community miserable simply because a handful of individuals had the audacity to brighten the afternoon of their town’s children by reading them some Mercer Mayer books.
So what will you do, dear reader, as you hear about this gross miscarriage of justice occurring right under your nose? Will you simply shake your head disapprovingly and continue scrolling through your various social media platforms, or will you take to the streets in support of a man who was robbed of his opportunity to spend the afternoon hurling epithets at complete strangers? It’s sad to say, but if you choose the former, you are no better than that malfunctioning belt that caused an otherwise innocent man to expose himself to a restaurant of horrified and disgusted onlookers all those weeks ago.