Sure, most people occasionally unwind with a drink or go to happy hour after work but I’m on a very different journey than “most people.” I’ve never really enjoyed getting drunk like the masses, but I do like getting high, which is why I could not be prouder to announce that I have become “California sober.” It’s been a long road, but I am proud to say I have reached my sixth week of telling people about it.
Being “California sober” is a very special form of sobriety. It means you do not drink alcohol, but you do consume weed products. It’s become a useful term for the growing number of people who don’t drink but still want to have stressful memory gaps. I chose this path for the sake of health and holistic wellness and because it gives me so many opportunities to talk about me.
For instance, I like to vape weed cartridges and consume edibles because smoking flower makes my house smell bad, yet I still smoke cigarettes, which I think is very quirky of me. Kind of like my vape battery covered in incongruously cute stickers even though it’s used for weed: so random! It’s not every day you meet someone who does one recreational drug but not another, but here I am, pioneering a way of life.
I’m not ashamed to explain this to anyone – not you, not my podiatrist, not the mailman. And I hope to inspire others with my Instagram feed of expensive, boutique weed paraphernalia. People like me have turned away from blacking out as a form of mindless oblivion and chosen instead to merely forget what we were worried about, or saying, or thinking 12 seconds ago.
It hasn’t always been easy. You bring up quitting alcohol, and people think it’s an invitation to talk about how addiction has indelibly touched their lives and caused unspeakable pain to their loved ones. They think I want to hear them brag about how their own sobriety has saved their life and family. OK? But I thought we were in agreement that it was time to talk about something that’s interesting to everyone: me, and my journey here in the LA dispensary scene.
Despite this, I remain committed to the lifestyle, at least until I get really into microdosing something else while barefoot running.