Doug Kolic
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LOS ANGELES — Ticketmaster announced a new policy where they will charge customers an extra tax if their favorite acts…
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Samuel Abraham
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Why is it so goddamn difficult to get the state to assist in a human's death? We literally shoot horses…
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Doug Kolic
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BANGOR, Maine — Members of death metal band Rhino Sphincter expressed relief that the fog machine they rolled out during…
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Dan Rice
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WASHINGTON — Inspired by Turning Point’s alternative halftime show, Kristi Noem has announced that she will be airing her own…
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Dan Rice
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If there is a conservative in your life, be it a relative, acquaintance, or just an online troll who won’t…
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Matt Husser
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MINNEAPOLIS — Minneapolis residents were reportedly on high alert today after a masked sex offender began going door to door…
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Steve Packosky
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LUDLOW, Maine — A copy of Alice in Chains’ 1992 LP “Dirt” buried in the Mi’kmaq grounds behind Ludlow’s famed…
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James Knapp
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DENVER — Local math-ska band Honkzonga recently wasted theirs and everyone else's time while trying to impress the headliner for…
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Tyler Roland
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MUNCIE, Ind. — Democratic gubernatorial candidate Wesley Ellison admitted to purposely phoning in his run for governor while writing a…
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Steve Packosky
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What the fuck did you just say to me? I can’t believe your insolence, but I’ll be willing to give…
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