Ben Friedman
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May 28, 2025
Most people would agree that the last place you want to die is on the job, not only because you’ll…
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Jose Balderas
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May 28, 2025
SANTA FE SPRINGS, Calif. — Local father Jay Vander couldn’t wait until his newborn son was old enough to show…
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Steve Packosky
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May 27, 2025
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — President Donald Trump’s decision to terminate all of the federal government’s remaining contracts with Harvard University resulted…
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Amber Hendrix
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May 27, 2025
RICHMOND, Va. — Local Project Manager Bart McDonnell claimed recently to have discovered the Rosetta Stone of productivity, dubbing himself…
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Ben Friedman
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May 27, 2025
Few mythological tales are as legendary as the epic battle waged between the Greeks and the Trojans over the kidnapping…
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Charles Bill
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May 27, 2025
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced plans to cut much needed mental health funds for America’s clown posses, confirmed dope-ass…
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WINDSOR, Conn — Local terrible cousin Terry Reynolds made everyone uncomfortable at his family’s annual Memorial Day BBQ by loudly…
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They say that “no good deed goes unpunished,” but I have another platitude to add to the mix: “no read…
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Matt Husser
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May 26, 2025
WASHINGTON — Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth delivered a special Memorial Day message to a covert unit of Marine operatives…
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SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is…
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