Dan Rice
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As anyone without children can tell you, being a childless adult is the absolute pinnacle of human existence. It rules,…
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Amy Currul
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ORLANDO, FLa. — Young fans of the legendary Warped Tour are frustrated to find that tickets for the 2025 revival…
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John Adkins
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ST. LOUIS — Guinness World Records announced that Dave Flenderson broke the world record for the longest-running Smiths phase in…
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Rob Steinberg
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For decades now, the dumpster witch has been known for being spotted at iconic locations like Winkie’s Diner, recurring nightmares,…
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Dan Kozuh
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BRAINTREE, Mass. — A leak revealed that local punk band We Wear the Mask only keeps their second guitarist, Davey…
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WASHINGTON — Legendary frontman Ian MacKaye stunned longtime fans by revealing the song "Straight Edge" was not meant to be…
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Dan Rice
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We all know Stephen King as the master of the macabre, so we thought it would be fun to subvert…
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Carson Kile
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LOS ANGELES — An astounding display of skill and expertise was observed today as local punk sommelier Evan Weaver correctly…
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Bobby Korec
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“The Star Spangled Banner” is as timeless as the United States of America itself. But if it’s so revered, why…
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Carson Kile
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CHICAGO — A local jam session reportedly went so awry that for the first time in millennia, none of the…
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