NORTH ATTLEBORO, Mass. — Several youths were ordered to stop playing with miniature skateboards by very small police officers outside the Emerald Square Mall, according…
AKRON, Ohio — Officer Brian McCarthur of the Akron Police Department shared his delight at seeing work friends while infiltrating local far-right militia, the Sons…
WASHINGTON — Popular ‘70s gay icons Village People announced they would be performing at multiple Trump inauguration events and will feature a new lineup made…
NEW YORK — The New York City Police Department unveiled a new AI surveillance program that promised to help them arrest the wrong guy 70%…
TALLAHASSEE, Tenn. — The Tallahassee Police Department is in chaos due to nearly every officer requesting time off to attend an upcoming Five Finger Death…
FAIRFAX, Va. – Local punk parents Cindy Brooklyn and Liam Hillhurst were found playing a new game called “The Toilet is Lava” with their children…
PEORIA, Ill. — A masked member of a local militia who was harassing people waiting in line to vote embarrassingly forgot where he left his…
BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local conservative man and general douchebag Chet Dyker was spotted at a Halloween party this past weekend telling women dressed as sexy…
LOS ANGELES — A K9 unit dog was commended during training today after he successfully shut his body cam off before tearing his squeaky toy…
FOLSOM, Calif. — Country singer Carlson Swagger brought his cowboy bootlickin’ brand of lawful country music to Folsom Prison today where he performed only for…
CLEARWATER, Fla. — Local metalhead Rickey Ray Reynolds asked officers if he could change into his favorite Morbid Angel t-shirt before his mugshot was taken…
Can a person be truly redeemed if they are forced to commit crimes to survive in an unjust society? Nineteen years ago I lifted a…
AUSTIN — Local punk Kyle Burnett’s annual Easter egg painting tradition took an interesting turn after he drove to a nearby police station to throw…
As a child, you see so many depictions of police officers on television. Some of them show cops as the heroes fighting crime and saving…
NEW WINDSOR, Md. — Longtime cop enthusiast Lou Mandin seamlessly transitioned from a locally known bootlicker to a Trump sneaker licker after purchasing the former…