Mike Pence Booed At Gay Orgy

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — U.S. Vice President-elect Mike Pence once again found himself in an uneasy position with constituents he will soon represent, as he was booed loudly at the wild, men-only sex party he and his security detail attended last night, video footage confirmed.

Pence, along with his entourage, has toured the U.S. since his electoral victory to familiarize himself with parts of the country the former Indiana governor insisted he has not been exposed to in the past.

“It was his idea in the first place,” said a member of Pence’s secret service detail requesting anonymity. “We all really wanted to find a good seafood restaurant while we were on the east coast. But he insisted we check out this orgy he said he read about online. He kept saying, ‘Doesn’t that sound like fun?’ Not much we can say. He’s the boss, so we gotta go.”

The party, held at local bachelor Reggie Cass’s suburban basement, had started approximately an hour before Pence and his escorts arrived. Having procured the password by following rigorous directions sent via private, encrypted email, they entered easily, but upon descending the basement stairs, they were met with mixed reactions.

“They came down in their suits, and he was trying to shake hands with some of the fellas,” said Kyle Moore, an attendee of the sexual bacchanal. “People were booing and yelling and it got a little crazy. I only cheered because I didn’t think it was really him and I have a thing for older guys.”

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Despite a strict “no filming” policy, a viral video surfaced of the incoming Vice Commander-in-Chief being booed out of the makeshift dungeon. Members of the orgy also stopped their non-stop boning bonanza to make a statement to the Vice President Elect.

“We, sir — we — are the members of this gay orgy who are alarmed and anxious that you showed up to this thing in weird long underwear,” he said. “We truly hope that this orgy has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us, and also maybe get some more appropriate attire for future events.”

President-elect Donald J. Trump responded to the matter on his Twitter account earlier this morning.

“Everyone in Reggie’s basement ought to be ashamed of themselves! Basements that host gay orgies must be a safe space for all. Apologize!” read his latest tweet.

According to a leaked itinerary, Pence’s tour of the U.S. will soldier on with a guided tour of a Planned Parenthood scheduled for later today, followed by a crust-punk show featuring anarchist band America the Pitiful at an abandoned paint factory later in the evening.

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Article by Mark Roebuck @mark_roebuckPhoto by Thomas Fricilone @ThomasFricilone.

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