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I Think My Son Steven Reads This Website and We Just Want Him to Know We Love Him

Greetings punksters,

Thank you for taking the time to read this web log on TheHardTimes Internet website. I have seen this site open on my son Steven’s laptop a few times so I figured this would be a good way to reach out to him since he blocked my Facebook friend request. Steven scrawled “Fuck Authority! Eat Shit Mom and Dad!” on the side of my Camry, (a car that cannot be beat on gas mileage and reliability, which is what you want in an automobile my young friends) and I thought this would be a great way to let him know something very important:

You’re a great kid Steven and your mother and I love you.

 I don’t quite get this whole mohawk thing, but I think it’s great you care about the plight of Native Americans. In the same way I love that you’re getting in touch with your past by wearing your Grandpa’s old Army jacket all the time. Remember when we went to the fair and he took you on the roller coaster? That was pretty rock ‘n’ roll right? Please call him and thank him for the birthday card he sent you, the Sheriff of Grandpatown misses his deputy!

You may find it hard to believe but your mother and I were once punks like you. “Far out, man!” we’d say. Or, “The man killed Jimi!” Jimi refers to Jimi Hendrix, who is an electric guitar player. Just like the one we got you for your birthday, the one you put all of those stickers on that say the F word on them. I may not approve of your language young man, but you’re a very special kid and you mean the world to your mom and I.

Related: 5 Marilyn Manson Songs That HEY FUCK OFF DAD I’M WRITING MY ARTICLES RIGHT NOW

So, Steven, even though your demo may have a song called, “Mom and Dad don’t love me.” I just want you, and all of your friends on this message board to know that just isn’t true. We love our little punker just as much today as when I had to carry you off the top of the slide because it was too high and you wet yourself. Remember? What a fun day!

Best Wishes,

Marty Higgenbottom

If you can help Marty get this message to his son please comment below!