PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly after her husband Stephen Barker…
Noble Paladin With Lovingly Written 8-Page Backstory Dies Twenty Minutes Into Adventure
ST. PAUL, Minn. — First time Dungeons & Dragons player Craig Walcott was shocked when his Half-Elf Paladin, Sur Swenstance Silverheart III, Noble Son of…
D&D Party Member With -3 Charisma Keeps Trying to Fucking Roll Deception
WASHINGTON — Sarah Huckabee Sanders, roleplaying as Press Secretary, was seen attempting yet another Deception roll despite her character sporting an abysmal 5 total Charisma…
Woman Who’s Just ‘One of the Guys’ in D&D Group Roleplaying as Someone Who Doesn’t Find Them Sexist
SAN DIEGO — Sarah Rodriguez attended her weekly D&D meetup today where she roleplays as a human rogue woman named Sarah Rodriguez who doesn’t find…
True Neutral Woman Considers Herself Chaotic Good
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local roleplaying enthusiast Susan Warburton, confirmed to be “true neutral” on the alignment chart by close friends and family, considers herself to…
Minor With 10 Charisma Buys Alcohol
DENVER — Sources have reported that slick-talking seventeen-year-old, Marty Johnson, went into a grocery store and used his high charisma rating to purchase alcohol for…
WHITERUN, Skyr. — Night Watchman Thorbjorg Halmsteim told reporters he began to suspect a trespasser might be afoot today, after he felt a fourth arrow…
Group Finally Schedules Conversation about How Much Fun It Would Be to Play D&D Some Time
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — Zack Borman and a few of his friends were able to set aside a few hours, after months of scheduling conflicts and…
ST. JOSEPH, Mich. — Brian Freemont was dismayed Thursday evening after being promised a night of wild role-playing by his girlfriend Abbie Case only to…
Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self
TUCSON, Ariz. — Avid gamer Mark Spears utilized a video game character creation tool with millions of possibilities, including hundreds of different fantasy species, to…
Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats
VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — Fred and Maria Owens were severely disappointed to discover their newborn baby has absolutely terrible stats after being delivered in a…
DECATUR, Ga. — A local Dungeons & Dragons collective has ousted their overreaching despot today, in what is being reported as a populist coup. In…
Dungeons and Dragons Player Crafts Elaborate Fantasy World Where Parents Respect Him
PITTSBURGH — Local Dungeon Master Tyler Ferrell, being free to imagine worlds wherein literally anything is possible, has designed a fantasy realm that features his…