LAS VEGAS — Organizers of the When We Were Young Festival announced that they have set aside 700 parking spots specifically for teens waiting to…
NEW YORK — A local dry cleaner called Talking Heads frontman David Byrne this morning informing him that they still have the giant suit he…
ATHENS, Tenn. — Punks across Tennessee sifting through dumpsters for “perfectly good food” are inadvertently becoming the most well-educated people in America thanks to multiple…
COOKEVILLE, Tenn. — Cautious guitarist Samuel Tollins is almost ready to fart near his new Fender American Professional II Stratocaster after three months of being…
CARBONDALE, Ill. — Area woman Meg Sebastian conceded that she would “check out Primus” in a desperate bid to end what she would later call…
MUNCIE, Ind. — A local man’s brush with death after drunkenly falling from a third-story balcony on Tuesday inspired him to quit drinking for the…
NEW YORK — Percussion enthusiast Jeffery Saunders was disturbed to discover his new electronic drum kit let out sounds of sexual excitement each time his…
NEW YORK — An air of mystery and excitement pervaded CEO Daniel Ek’s office as he was delivered a gift basket of elk meat and…
RICHMOND — Local cyclist, Peter Williams, survived a collision with an unoccupied van parked on a heavily-trafficked street late this morning thanks to his bicycle…
NEWARK, N.J. — Beloved blue-collar icon Bruce Springsteen surprised fans in his native New Jersey by announcing a special one-night-only celebration in the middle of…
SAN DIEGO — Family and friends of struggling social media influencer Kevin Watkins gathered this Tuesday to try and mourn his untimely passing, only to…
HOLCOMB, Miss. — Influential Delta blues musician Jojo “Two Joes” Listwood was recently stricken with a life-crippling terror after it occurred to him that, at…
PITTSBURGH — Local 38-year old man Justin Peterson spent the majority of the show that he is currently reminding himself that he is, in fact,…
LAS VEGAS — Poison singer Bret Michaels is reportedly still living on the bus where he unsuccessfully tried to find love more than a decade…
NEW YORK — Local woman Francisca Noguera asked her abusive partner of five months if he could extend his grooming habits to include his hygiene,…