LOS ANGELES — Local Leo Andrew Allsop is distraught after discovering that astrological differences appear to be an active threat in his several-month relationship with…
Back in Y2K times, the best venue to catch hot, undiscovered bands wasn’t in New York or L.A. – it was the fictional nightclub “The…
SEATTLE — Local metalhead Stan Peters is preparing himself mentally and physically to finally listen to his favorite band’s most recent album which came out…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Upholsterer Gianna Andrews stunned friends, family, and biologists with the discovery that her body consists more of ranch dressing than any other…
NEW YORK — Layne Morris, the bassist of death metal outfit Crystal Casket, caused a scramble between audience members who attempted to retrieve the fingers…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Bottoms from all over Kings County have formally announced their intent to unionize, their representative recently said during a press conference. “We,…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Heartbroken guitarist Wayne Kellington just got out of his long-term punk band Cranial Input and is admittedly not looking for anything…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — 35-year-old community college student and single mother Rebecca Steiner has bummed everybody out by raising her hand to contribute some sort of…
Each week The Hard Times takes a look back at a classic album. We also listen to it and review it. This week, we take…
ALBANY, N.Y. – A severe drought of talented drummers within the local scene is forcing multiple bands to recruit novice percussionist Trevor Hogue despite his…
NEW YORK — Popular internet dog Muppet announced early yesterday afternoon that his cutest content will be going behind a paywall via the website OnlyFans.com,…
My wife and I are hopelessly in love. We share a life of laughter and growth. Our only problem? She wants me to be more…
LAKEVILLE, Ind. – Townsfolk are bracing for waves of fiery lust caused by local sex symbol Scott Bailey’s distended, green Godsmack bellybutton tattoo as shirtless…
NASHVILLE – Right-wing podcaster Skyler Donelli admitted he is having difficulty choosing a side in the debate over whether a toddler accidentally shooting its mother…
CHANDLER, Ariz. — Gina Feldspar, bassist for punk band Piss Ritual, performed a periodic inventory of “good” and “bad” teeth by using her tongue to…