BEDFORD, N.Y. — Recently single 31-year-old Alexander Harwood is reportedly longing today for the era in which grief and sorrow was solely expressed through away…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local dog and punk house resident Haley stared hopefully at the side of a stage last night after touring band Rage Party finished…
SEATTLE — Online retail behemoth Amazon filed an official complaint yesterday against band merch site Rockabilia in one of the first cases examining eminent internet…
AUSTIN, Texas. — Democratic Presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke reportedly ate his sherpa last night following a treacherous table climb at an Austin BBQ restaurant, horrified…
ASHLAND, Ky. — Members of Alien Ant Farm are reportedly hoping “everyone’s cool” with them still performing a cover of a Michael Jackson song, as…
HUDSON, N.Y. — Local mother Mallory Kerner called her daughter Jenna this morning, shortly after texting to see whether or not Jenna had already listened…
LOS ANGELES — Members of both Linkin Park and Evanescence were just as surprised as anyone else yesterday to find themselves on a playlist at…
GREENVILLE, S.C. — A black T-shirt frequently worn by local punk Ryan Matheson entered the “vaguely green” era of its life cycle after a standard…
OXNARD, Calif. — Local gentleman Jay Deme impressed his new girlfriend Lisa Traynor last night by politely opening up a mosh pit for her to…
MEMPHIS — Classic reality TV series Ghost Hunters and To Catch A Predator aired a primetime crossover event earlier this week, during which they entrapped…
GREEN BAY, Wisc. — BurntBridge singer and lyricist Zach Maron confirmed today that his song “Katie, in the Green Hoodie” is, in fact, absolutely not…
Dear Scabby: Weed makes me shit. Drinking expensive beer also makes me shit. Should I give up? -OUT OF TP WITH THE WORLD Dear Out…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local hardcore band Cheapshot’s vocalists Victoria Weiss and Anthony Byers simultaneously launched into separate, heartfelt speeches between songs during a show last…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Total dumbshit motherfucker Bobby Owens attempted to start a circle pit last night during local hardcore band Ripped Together’s obvious two-step groove,…














Status Update Hijacked by Dad Wondering if You’re Coming Home for Mother’s Day
NORMAN, Okla. — A Facebook status update posted by Haute Sauce guitarist Julie Rice was hijacked today when her father “totally steamrolled” the comments section…