Like many Americans, I am awake at three in the goddamn morning in a seemingly endless anxiety loop. As I stare at my alarm clock…
Movies. They just keep getting more profitable, and thus better. There’s just one problem. A small, insignificant faction of the people who make you the…
If you’re alive reading this then congratulations! You’ve made it all the way to the dawn of the end times. One of the very, very…
Action movies: I often wish that I were a normal person who could just enjoy an action movie. I’ve seen the way most of you…
As an American student, I’m unable to afford the finer things in life like housing and food, so I still live at home. You can’t…
CHICAGO — A new meandering voicemail from your dealer indicated that “Donnie Darko is still the movie you absolutely must see in order to understand…
LOS ANGELES. — A new “Night at the Museum” sequel in the works at 20th Century Fox reportedly takes place in the newly opened Punk…
Oftentimes, the problem with punk music made by actual PEOPLE is that those people are so rarely puppets, sitcom characters, or Martin Short. With this…
Welcome to Fight Club fan club. I see a lot of new faces. Shut up. That means a lot of you have been breaking the…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Seasoned death metal guitarist Robert Young incurred his first instance of hearing damage by attending a screening of the children’s movie…
NASHUA, N.H. — Local woman Shellie Eastman was shocked to discover her favorite mixed CD from her teenage years was just the soundtrack album to…
No way. I’m not going to watch that stupid-ass movie. Have you seen the way people are roasting it on Twitter? I don’t know why…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. – Sophomore Cinema and Media Studies power couple Rumi Saito and Kyle Reynolds are having difficulty selecting a dogshit film they will spend…
John Carpenter is one of the all-time greats. A legendary writer, filmmaker, and musician whose work includes classics like “Halloween” and “The Thing.” More importantly,…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Amateur movie critic and frequent Letterboxd user Riley Nelson somehow fell ass-backward into writing a review that featured a clear structure, thoughtful…