Steve Packosky
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BOSTON — An attractive woman seated across from you on the subway was probably just waiting until the right moment…
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Steve Packosky
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WASHINGTON — Experts at the Department of Education (DoE) have issued a dire warning that further cuts to their institution…
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Chris Bowen
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BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local show attendee Alicia Zewbrowski appeared to have narrowly passed a visual inspection of her battle vest…
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Steve Packosky
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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A particularly violent wall of death during an Exodus concert continued after peace talks failed to reach…
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Steve Packosky
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BURGETTSTOWN, Pa. — The mosh pit at a concert by popular metal band Pantera doubled as a team-building activity for…
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Steve Packosky
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CASPER, Wyo. — Municipal Waste fan Dylan Medina was shocked and disgusted after remembering that he drank responsibly at local…
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Laurie Bolewitz
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RICHMOND, Va. — Metal band GWAR’s newest lead vocalist was announced via a giant white steam cloud of creamy ejaculate…
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Steve Packosky
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COPENHAGEN — Prolific metal singer King Diamond hoped nobody would notice his eponymous band’s new concept album “Infernal Curse” followed…
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Steve Packosky
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LONDON — Legendary British metal band Iron Maiden found themselves writing a song about the British Credit Crisis of 1772…
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Rob Ryder
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RICHMOND — Legendary metal group GWAR reportedly cut their usage of onstage fake cum to approximately five barrels a day…
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