Taylor Roebuck
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Have you ever wanted to drink licorice-flavored varnish? Or perhaps floor cleaner garnished with dirt and earthworms? If so, you’re…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Local man Shaun Clemens is reportedly planning to spend St. Patrick’s Day in his usual leprechaun costume, drinking…
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John Danek
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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Conestoga Distillery, the makers of popular new Vulture Rye whiskey, have disrupted the market by selling their…
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Laurie Storrie
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LANSING, Mich. — Local 13-year-old Malcolm Woods’ attempt at drunken debauchery last night ended in disappointment after realizing the bottle…
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Jon Swihart
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Listen pussies, I’m not going to “tone down” my drinking just because you claim I have a problem. Sure, my…
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Dom Turek
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All day long I hear people complaining about how bad alcohol is. How it destroys families and makes you shit…
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