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4 stories found

Biden Assures American People He’s Still Running Despite Being Decapitated by Helicopter Blade

Tim Graham • July 14, 2024

WASHINGTON — President Biden insists he’s not dropping out of the presidential race even though his head was separated from…

If We Defund the Police, Whose Goddamn Helicopters Am I Going to Steal?

Mark Roebuck • June 10, 2020

Hey you ugly motherfuckers! I’ve been watching your pissy little protests and I have just one little bitty question for…

Police Manhunt Underway for Man Who Didn’t Pay for WinRAR License After 40 Day Trial

Jeremy Kaplowitz • March 13, 2020

FRESNO, Calif. — New police helicopter video shows the massive response to accused WinRAR License thief Michael Ramsey as fifteen…

rescue, helicopter, pit

Rescue Helicopter Called in to Save Man With Untied Shoe in Pit

The Hard Times Staff • May 5, 2019

HARTFORD, Conn. — An elite extraction unit was called in last night to save local hardcore kid Tom Rodrigues from…