PORTLAND, Ore. — White progressive voters across the country announced they were excited by how many different races, genders, and ethnicities they can blame for…
WASHINGTON — Vice President-elect J.D. Vance made history earlier this week when he became the first person to hold the office who is extremely unsettling…
WASHINGTON — Members of the Kamala Harris campaign admit they were deeply troubled by the complete lack of dead people voting in this year’s election,…
WASHINGTON — The leaders of the Democratic National Committee announced they plan to learn absolutely nothing from their embarrassing loss to President-elect Donald Trump, multiple…
WEST CHESTER, Penn. — Local Trump supporter Stephen Hall confirmed that he is happy about Trump’s win, but is a “little disappointed” that he won’t…
PEORIA, Ill. — A masked member of a local militia who was harassing people waiting in line to vote embarrassingly forgot where he left his…
Every human has basic desires: the need for shelter, human touch, and access to Presidential Mukbang streams. It’s only natural that in the year of…
Legendary musician, producer, and seemingly the luckiest son of a bitch around, Quincy Jones died at his home in Bel Air Sunday night just a…
DES MOINES, Iowa — A new poll shows Kamala Harris’ lead over Donald Trump nearly doubled after telling rallygoers that her favorite Slipknot album was…
AUSTIN, Texas — J.D. Vance sat down for a three-hour interview with popular podcaster Joe Rogan to let potential voters know he’s just a completely…
WASHINGTON — President Biden sent his longtime friend Benjamin Netanyahu a thoughtful handwritten birthday card with a crisp $5 fresh off the mint, as well…
NEW YORK — Minnesota Governor and Vice President nominee Tim Walz was asked about conflicting statements and timelines surrounding his claim that he attended that…
WASHINGTON — Ronald Rowe Jr, acting director of the Secret Service, held a press conference today to announce that he is heavily considering requesting all…
Last night America witnessed the first and possibly only debate between two presidential hopefuls. One of them, former president Trump, came down pretty hard on…
PHILADELPHIA — Former President Trump deviated from his prepared talking points to pay tribute to Darth Vader and the countless jobs he created running his…