LOS ANGELES — Sharon Osbourne believes that her recently deceased husband Ozzy Osbourne still has enough juice in the tank to keep touring and performing…
Rock and Roll Lifestyle Finally Catches Up To Ozzy Osbourne, 76
LOS ANGELES — Decades of hard partying and wild nights finally caught up to legendary metal musician Ozzy Osbourne who died at the young age…
World’s Dipshit Concertgoers Announce Plans to Scream “Crazy Train” at Upcoming Black Sabbath Reunion Show
BIRMINGHAM, England — A large number of the attendees of Black Sabbath’s upcoming reunion show at Villa Park announced their plans to yell “Crazy Train”…
Metalhead Shows More Conviction Arguing About Superiority of Dio-Era Black Sabbath Than He Did Arguing for Custody of His Own Children
ADDISON, Vt. – Metalhead Adam Brockford showed more conviction arguing with a stranger about Black Sabbath outside the Addison County Courthouse than he had shown…
Every Black Sabbath Album Ranked Worst to Best
You. Yeah, you. You think you’re a badass huh. Well, here’s some news for you Walter Kronkite. You’re not. But you know who is a…
Old Man Who Doesn’t Like Rap Song Somehow on Right Side of History
LOS ANGELES — Legendary metal musician, and noted septuagenarian, Ozzy Osbourne broke new ground when he became the first old white man to complain about…
DAYTON, Ohio — Managers at a local Guitar Center decided not to offer a sales position to Brandon McDougal after he miserably failed the “Black…
LOS ANGELES — Cult film director Gustav Heinrik’s latest project “Black Sabbath: Go Heavy or Go Home” shines new light on the idea that the…
10 Satanic Classic Metal Songs of the 1980s That Will Make You Pledge Allegiance to the Dark Lord
Heavy metal is the devil’s music. It’s written in the Bible. When you die (and if you try hard enough, when you’re alive) and you…
HELL — Ruler of the underworld and Dark Lord Satan admitted that even after all these years, he is still flattered whenever he hears a…
5 Lame Dio Hand Gestures That Didn’t Catch On
In the annals of heavy metal singers, few stood as tall as one Ronnie James Dio. As the frontman for Heaven & Hell, Rainbow and…
Sound Guy’s Ponytail Used to Tour With Sabbath
TUCSON, Ariz. — A local sound guy’s ponytail bragged yesterday that it used to tour with the legendary metal band Black Sabbath during a recording…
DENVER — Julian Rodriguez, guitarist of Black Sabbath tribute act Supernauts, fought back tears this morning as he purchased a Ryobi circular saw with his…
Karaoke Singer Doesn’t Know What to Do During “War Pigs” Instrumentals
TEMPE, Ariz. — Karaoke enthusiast Dain Whitcomb had “no idea” what to do during the instrumental parts of Black Sabbath’s classic song “War Pigs,” according…
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Fans and critics alike say stoner metal band Wand Luthier has redefined the genre with their debut album, The Blazed Among…