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14 stories found

“Baby’s Gotta Do What a Baby’s Gotta Do,” Mutters An Adult Tommy Pickles Before Committing Mail Fraud

Tyler Dark • April 24, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Former precocious one-year-old and current convicted felon on parole Tommy Pickles, now 31, allegedly muttered to himself…

Radical Left? Here’s How Many Fresh Infants the Clintons Will Have to Cut Back on If Bernie’s Wealth Tax Passes

Lauren Lavín • February 25, 2020

With the 2020 election cycle heating up, it’s impossible to go a single day without hearing about Bernie Sanders, the…

Opinion: Why You Should Cut Selfish Infants out of Your Life

Shea Strauss • January 1, 2020

We all know self-absorbed people. These one-sided relationships wear us down and deplete our resources. It is a person’s actions,…

Grindcore Band Designing Album Art Pissed About Lack of Fair Use Mutilated Baby Photos

The Hard Times Staff • April 15, 2017

SHAMROCK, Texas — The lack of fair use photos of mutilated babies has left local grindcore band Rectal Distress frustrated…