Right now, your social media feeds are likely entirely filled with Trump’s dumb face. While you’re happy to see even a shred of justice being served, you’re getting a little tired of seeing his weirdly small, cold, dead eyes every time you open up Instagram or whatever. All you want to do is dissociate for a little while and binge-watch power-washing videos for hours on end – which, no judgement, they’re super satisfying for some reason – but instead you’re just constantly reminded that one of the worst people to ever live is still able to demand constant media attention.
What if you didn’t need to scroll at all? What if there was something that just required you to sit on your ass and use your ears to be entertained? Enter: music. You’ve always heard about it, but you’ve never given it a shot for yourself. Here’s a handful of some hot new tracks and classics that our staff has been listening to recently to get you started.
Brian Damage “Miserable Schemes”
Columbus, Ohio’s Brian Damage – not to be confused with the Misfits incredibly short-lived drummer – have just announced their third LP ‘Previous Episodes.’ Judging by the first single ‘Miserable Schemes,’ the release is promising to be yet another power-pop masterpiece from the Heartland’s favorite off-the-radar weirdo, Brian Baker (not to be confused with the longtime guitarist of Bad Religion). Imagine you got hit in the head with a hammer. We won’t go into details as to why, but let’s say it was a pretty good hit and you went unconscious for several days. In your coma, you lived an entire life in the ’90s. You were happy, successful, and your fashion sense finally made sense. Needless to say, you became mortifyingly depressed upon waking up in this present day hellscape. This song may as well be the only balm that can soothe you.
Buck Meek “Undae Dunes”
You might know Buck Meek as the lead guitarist and backing vocalist for indie-rock darlings Big Thief. The latter’s output is as impressive as it is expansive, so it’s no surprise that Meek’s third solo album ‘Haunted Mansion’ is a complex and stirring collection. Mixing the twang of his hometown of Waverly, Texas, with the genre-pushing indie inclinations of his band, Meek manages to build a sound that is uniquely his own. While album highlight ‘Undae Dunes’ may falter in the form of an almost repeated melody from a previous album, it soars in terms of fascinating new production trickery. Not unlike your last news-cycle-related public meltdown.
Twin Temple “Burn Your Bible”
Halloween may be two long months away, but according to our managing editor, ‘spooky season’ started way back in January and we’ve been really slow to catch up. In fact, she said that if we don’t start putting up some fake skeletons and shit in the office ASAP that it will be our skulls decorating her desk. Yikes. In an attempt to keep our brains and bones safe within our skin suits where they belong, we’ve been scrambling to put on Twin Temple every time she walks by. We’re not sure if it’s working considering all the knives that have been stuck into our desks. It’s not a total loss, though, as the single they released a couple weeks ago, ‘Burn Your Bible,’ is a total fucking ripper. If you’ve been searching for some sixties-style pop music a la Ronnie Spector, but with more Satanic imagery, look no further.
BABYMETAL “METAL!! ft. Tom Morello”
Now that you’re becoming an expert in music having just discovered it, it won’t take long until you’re weirdly into J-Pop. It’s likely you’ll feel compelled to hide this new adoration from your friends who tend to prefer heavier music. We’re pleased to tell you, that there’s now a wonderful way to blend both worlds together in the most disorienting way possible. This track has riffs a plenty thanks to a stellar guest spot from Tom Morello. It should also be noted that two of BABYMETAL’s members are listed as contributing ‘scream’ and ‘dance’ in the credits of this one. Since those are two things you do semi-regularly, you should feel right at home here.
Fiddlehead “Welcome to the Situation”
Fiddlehead is back again, and the ‘situation’ we are being welcomed to is one of the classic post-hardcore realm. When this supergroup featuring members of Have Heart and Basement (just to name a few) released their first album in 2018, many expected it to be a one off. It makes sense considering the fact that typically when something this good comes out it’s quickly taken away. Life is unfair and meaningless, and nothing pure can last for long. Fortunately for us, those assumptions were wrong. The band has just released their aptly titled third LP, ‘Death Means Nothing To Us.’ Every song on the record is a certified hit, but since we know your attention span is likely shot from modern media, we’ll do you a favor and recommend the shortest track on the album.
Mitski “Heaven”
Sometimes you just wish everything could stop so you could find a little quiet time in your day. While you’ve been enjoying your recent discovery of melodic expression, you might be thinking that all of it is abrasive and heart-pumping. Don’t worry, there are chill songs too and almost no one does them better than Mitski, who just renounced her retirement from music. ‘Heaven’ from her forthcoming LP ‘The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We’ continues her flirtation with weepy alt-country soundscapes. The result is a rather pleasant wash of sonic joy not unlike the song’s namesake. While it won’t solve all of your mounting problems and existential dread, it will certainly allow you to push your impending panic attack further down the line. It’s been a long week, you deserve to relax.
Even though music is a new concept to you, our staff has been listening to it for years and years. The great thing about this form of media is that it can be listened to again and again, no matter how old or irrelevant it is within pop culture. Here are a few tracks our esteemed writing staff can’t seem to forget, despite multiple interventions and strongly worded letters from state officials.
Weezer “I Am The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived (Variations On A Shaker Hymn)”
Weezer’s ‘Red Album’ was marked as a lopsided yet triumphant return to form when it was released, thanks largely in part to Rivers Cuomo’s large cowboy hat and mustache. The absolute balls and class it takes to pull off such a look is no more prevalent than it is on ‘I Am The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived.’ The writer who sings this one’s praises has been attempting to pull off a similar vibe, but to less carnal success.
Alex G “Thorns”
Recently, we correctly ranked Alex G’s album ‘Beach Music’ as his number-one effort. Many argued, but all were absolutely wrong. We don’t typically care about the naysayers, but it really concerned our writer that so many people have such terrible taste. His anguish became palpable when he locked himself in his office and played Alex G’s somber cut, ‘Thorns’ on a loop for several hours.
Blonde Redhead “23”
Blonde Redhead’s earlier work is often noted for its edgy and rough sound, but one of our writers prefers the more pristine edge of their 2007 album, ‘23,’ and more notably the album’s opening and title track. According to him, music doesn’t have to sound shitty to be cool. While we’re not sure we agree 100%, this song has been adding a dreamy atmosphere to the break room whenever he’s annoyingly playing music from his phone speaker in there.
Cro-Mags “Hard Times”
The intern that’s been playing this one on repeat claims they’re only doing so to be cheeky, but considering how often they come into the office hungover, we’re pretty sure they’re literally listening to it to remind them of where they are. We imagine the scenario is like this: After a heavy night of partying, their dreaded alarm comes on and they can’t remember who they are or what they were supposed to be doing in the cold light of morning. When they put this one on, they hear “HARD TIMES, COMIN’ YOUR WAY!” and slowly start to put things together.
Listen to the ever-evolving and completely scattered playlist while you zone out at work: