An open letter to my son: Dear Leslie (although I guess you are going by ‘Slime’ now), I wanted to take this opportunity to let…
LIMA, Peru — A team of archaeologists in the jungles of Peru made a groundbreaking discovery yesterday, unearthing the long-lost “Mambos No. 1-4” prequel tapes…
It’s cute, really, but I’m just not sure about her dedication to this relationship if she’s not even going to learn what she’s talking about.…
HOLLAND, Mich. — Your 14-year-old cousin Blake Liston admitted to you yesterday that, as of two weeks ago, he smokes pot and it is “totally…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Prolific punk rock drummer Mikey Erg, of The Ergs!, Dirt Bike Annie, The Unlovables, The Measure, Star Fucking Hipsters, The Slow…
There’s no doubt about it: Punk is dying. Whether it’s gentrification, mainstream exposure, or just a monumental shift in the scene, one thing is abundantly…
BOSTON — A new report out of the New England Conservatory of Music suggests that classic rock band Boston’s hit song “More Than A Feeling”…
ORLANDO, Fla. – Terrible local ska band Honk Republic transformed into a halfway-decent punk band late Monday night, when their trumpet player Bobby “Lips” McMurphy…
In a land decimated by civil war, terrorism, and violence, Syrian musicians have persevered through hell on earth. Thanks to the internet we can finally…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Your coworker Michael Banks, a 33-year-old office assistant and widely known flake, announced plans today to get everything sorted out by tomorrow…
CHICAGO — The Pomegranate Verbena-scented Glade Plug-In at notorious punk venue The Grindstone is “doing the best it can under the circumstances,” sources close to…
Look, I’m not defending it by any means. The way society in The Handmaid’s Tale treats women is deplorable and inexcusable. I’m JUST SAYING there…
SANTA ROSA, Calif. — Influential songwriter and musician Tom Waits is being sued by a dive bar bathroom stall, alleging the artist has plagiarised lyrics…
Two things I know for sure — Most sexual fetishes can be traced back to a singular, intense childhood experience, and ’90s Nickelodeon totally ruled!…
Man Pretty Sure He Liked All the Right Comments in Facebook Debate
PHILADELPHIA — Facebook user Sean Harris is reportedly “pretty confident” he liked the correct comments this past Friday to avoid backlash on a post about…