Wow, what a year it’s been! I hope this letter finds you happy, healthy, and not being cuckolded. Because I was cuckolded this year, and…
NEW YORK — Chaos and panic overwhelmed Times Square after the famous New Year’s Eve ball unexpectedly hatched causing revelers to be showered with millions…
NEW YORK — Total loser Jay Draboll plans to spend his entire New Year’s Eve partying with friends in what will be deemed an unforgettable…
Endless wars. Corporate Greed. Decline of living wages. There are many societal woes in this country that continue to get worse with little positivity in…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Slipknot percussionist Shawn “Clown” Crahan reportedly resolved to hit a beer keg with his baseball bat at least 50 times a…
Today the world continues to mourn Jimmy Carter, former U.S. President, Nobel Prize recipient and noted humanitarian, who died yesterday at the age of 100.…
LOS ANGELES — A shocking new report by citizen journalist/unemployed man Gary Russo claims that skateboarder Tony Hawk did not actually write “Superman by Goldfinger,”…
Today was definitely not the greatest day I’ve ever known. It started like any other day: the sun was shining, birds were chirping, and all…
ALBION, N.Y. — Local curmudgeon Hadwin McKlusky fell victim to a vicious prank played by neighborhood kids in which they placed a Red Hot Chili…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local man Turner Eaton was seen standing in the soap aisle of CVS, debating whether to purchase body wash that would make…
The punk scene loudly promotes inclusivity. All are welcome, regardless of your age, race, religion, gender identity, or socioeconomic status, as long as you hate…
LA MESA, Calif. — Prolific thrash metal frontman Dave Mustaine started a rival retirement organization after being removed from the American Association of Retired Persons…
EATONTOWN, N.J. — Local man Brian Johanssen admitted that he is still grieving the loss of his favorite radio station despite the fact it went…
If you’re a millennial or older, you probably remember “Stolen Honeymoon,” the leaked, mid-nineties sex footage of then-newlyweds Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee filmed largely…
WASHINGTON — Ian MacKaye was recently spotted scrambling down a block, knocking over multiple children and old people who were in his path, in a…