ATLANTA — Georgia’s governor has signed a bill prohibiting the act of offering water to thirsty audience members queuing in long merch lines, bewildered legal…
Well, well, well. It’s been another eventful week for everyone but you. While you’ve been mindlessly scrolling on your phone and working a permanent you-sized…
Time flies. One minute you’re young and invincible with your whole life ahead, and the next you find yourself thinking “wow, what a banger” while…
KUTZTOWN, Pa. — St. Patrick’s Day reveler and local punk Shane Becker was unconcerned that his green-tinted urine had nothing to do with the 15…
We’ve all been in this situation: the luxurious cruise ship on which you were traveling for some well-earned relaxation time in Mallorca crashed into a…
CRANFORD, N.J. — Local actuary Ken Dorfinger showed amazing self-restraint by leaving a significantly large piece of chicken as the last bite of his meal,…
I love this country. I bleed red, white and blue. I believe in the ideals laid out by the forefathers of this nation. I am…
CHICAGO — New IT support person, and self-proclaimed punk, Alex Holden is causing frustrations with fellow employees at Hawthorne Inc. by suggesting they punch their…
If you like your electric guitar-oriented instrumental rock with a side helping of dense orchestral arrangements and sizzling crescendos and ominous field recordings, garnished with…
“Futurama” is the ultimate adult cartoon. Sometimes childish humor written by a team of comedy writers with multiple masters and PhDs between them, and the…
BOISE, Idaho — A local family admitted they haven’t read a single word of the Bible that has been with their family for five generations…
Oorah and hello to everyone reading this. My name is Brayden Haydensen. I’m a Senior at Hillbrook High School and (more importantly) a cadet in…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Andrew Snee recently spent an entire weekend binge-watching well-known crime drama “Law and Order: SVU” free of the guilt of cheering…
You. Yeah, you. You think you’re a badass huh. Well, here’s some news for you Walter Kronkite. You’re not. But you know who is a…
“Breaking Bad,” along with “The Sopranos” and “The Wire” in the 2000s and early 2010s, defined the golden age of television, and while many have…