“Fight Club.” “The Social Network.” “Gone Girl.” “Se7en.” Classic after classic, David Fincher never missed. That is until he came out with this snoozefest of a film, “The Killer” starring Michael Fassbender as a yoga enthusiast serial killing hitman. That’s already too much. “I was really considering switching the soundtrack to include ska instead of The Smiths, but the studio shut down the idea,” said David Fincher when discussing the music choices for the film. So we did the work for him. Here are the top 15 Ska songs David Fincher should have chosen.
PS: We would warn you about spoilers but let’s be honest, if you haven’t watched the movie by now you were never really going to.
15. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones “The Impression That I Get”
The ‘90s are hot right now. From fashion to film cameras to the anticipation of total societal collapse. So why not open up this movie with a good throwback to the ‘90s with this classic? This would be a great way to set the tone of the film to be more viewer friendly. It’d be impossible to turn the movie off with this playing in the back.
14. Jeff Rosenstock “NO TIME TO SKANK”
Nothing better encapsulates existentialism, career, and the spirit of ska in one song as this one. With Fassbender’s character being dreaded with his life choices and making mistake after mistake, Jeff and this character would have quite a lot to talk about. The lyrics, “exploiting all my deep narcissistic tendencies,” would resonate hard with the titular killer.
13. Bruce Lee Band “If I Could Only Listen to My Heart”
The Killer was constantly listening to his heart in the film. Reading his heart rate, following his heart throughout the movie. So why not add this song to the mix? The reason his heart rate was so high was because he was listening to the wrong music, duh! Nothing calms me down more than putting on some good old classic Mike Park. Clearly David Fincher fumbled this one.
12. Sublime “Wrong Way”
Guaranteed that if The Killer was listening to this song for the first kill, he wouldn’t have missed. The timing on this song is impeccable and would have let the character focus so much more. If he was listening to this and never missed his shot, the movie would have been over in ten minutes. And to be honest, that would have been a hell of a lot better than the two extra hours we got after that scene.
11. Dance Hall Crashers “Lost Again”
This sound would have fit perfectly in the scene where Tilda Swinton retold that God-awful bear/hunter joke. What the hell was that joke even about? Who jokes around when they’re face-to-face with a murderer? Tilda clearly misread the room. However, with this song, it would tie everything together by uplifting the mood and maybe helping that joke land a bit better. Notice how Fassbender didn’t laugh? Needed some higher tempo.
10. Mustard Plug “You”
Any movie that features this banger of a song would automatically earn a 10/10 by the Academy. This should have been one of the main featured songs instead of turning the mood down with the Smiths. Notice how “The Killer” did not receive any Oscar nominations? It would be a different story if they added this song instead. Take note filmmakers.
9. Skankin’ Pickle “Special Brew”
Anyone in their right mind would choose this song over any song from The Smiths. I bet half the money on the budget was spent on the licensing of the music. They could have saved a lot if they opted for aka instead, they practically give this stuff away. Then they could have used that extra money to hire a better writer for this. There I said it. Hollywood I’ll be waiting for your call. I’m obviously unemployed so I’m available whenever.
8. The Aquabats “Super Rad!”
This song has helped me through the toughest times in my life. My first heartbreak, my grandfather’s passing, losing my custody battle. So there’s no reason why this song couldn’t save this movie from being such a snoozefest. Even if they randomly added this to the final scene, it would win anyone over.
7. Operation Ivy “Sound System”
We can’t make a ska list without including Operation Ivy. This really is just an entry to once again plead for the band to get back together and give the people what they want. What David Fincher should have done was to add this song during the nail gun scene. That scene was far too gruesome for some. This song would have lightened up the mood and made the murder more tolerable.
6. The Specials “A Message to You Rudy”
This song would have been perfect during the final boss confrontation scene. Just by the pure fact that The Killer didn’t even kill the final guy in charge of calling the hits. Who does that? He killed everyone else with no regard. But for this guy he spares his life? Left everyone watching being like “What the fuck?” So to make this better, this song should have been playing. Along with making Michael Fassbender say “Stop your messing around.”
5. No Doubt “Sunday Morning”
Honestly we just want to add this here to remind you that Gwen Stefani used to be in a ska band.
4. Rancid “Time Bomb”
This song’s meaning perfectly encapsulates the film’s plot. It’s almost as if this song was made for a plot like this. David Fincher, what were you thinking leaving this one out? Omission of this song is clearly one of the biggest mistakes in history, it’s on par with the burning of the Library of Alexandria. Leaving us with the biggest “What if?” Of all time.
3. Reel Big Fish “Take On Me”
This song proves, without an ounce of doubt, that making anything into ska makes it a million times better. This song has the power to change anything using the spirit of ska. To be quite honest, someone could make the argument that this should be the National Anthem. This captures the spirit of America better than any other modern song. How I envy anyone listening to this for the first time.
2. Goldfinger “Here In Your bedroom”
Hollywood has always had a severe lack of ska. And what better way to introduce the power of Ska in a film than with this classic third wave Ska song. It would transform Michael Fassbender from a existential mass murdering heartless maniac into an angsty teenager upset that his parents wouldn’t let him borrow the car. Which character sounds more interesting to you? Exactly.
1. Catch 22 “Dear Sergio”
Specifically if they added this fast-paced song on top of that intense Brute fight scene, but also change it up to make Michael Fassbender and Brute skanking instead of fighting. As exciting as fight scenes are, there are way too many in Hollywood. Bring on some skanking. And with modern day CGI, make the dog skank too.