NEW YORK — American rock group Spin Doctors revealed that one of the princes in their 1993 hit “Two Princes” is disgraced former Prince Andrew, Duke of York, surprised sources report.
“Yeah, I was following the Royal Family a lot back in the early ‘90s,” lead singer Chris Barron said. “I wanted to include a little nod to them in one of our songs, and it ended up being our biggest hit. I saw Prince Andrew all dolled-up at some lavish ceremony on TV, which is where I got the ‘big seal upon his jacket’ line in the song. Obviously, had I known that he was a total sex pest who had a long-standing association with Jeffrey Epstein, I would have named the song ‘One Princes.’ I really hope people can look past that going forward, and just appreciate the song for its catchiness and not its subject matter.”
Fan Dierdre Clemens was surprised and disgusted by the revelation.
“Oh wow, I really wish they hadn’t told us about that,” Clemens reacted. “I personally would have been a lot happier just enjoying the song in total ignorance for the rest of my life. Now every time I hear it I’m going to think of that creep who got kicked out of the Royal Family, instead of being reminded of my happy and carefree days as a kid. The world is completely fucked, and we millennials basically only have happy memories from our childhoods to keep us going, so can we agree that nostalgic bands should just keep any less than savory facts about their hits to themselves from now on? I don’t want to suddenly find out that Weezer’s ‘Island in the Sun’ is about Epstein Island.”
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor was flattered by his inclusion in the song’s lyrics.
“Oy mate, are you taking the piss?” said Mountbatten Windsor. “If not, I think it’s fucking brilliant I’m in that tune, yeah? I’ve been right gutted ever since me titles were nicked, so I’m positively cheesed to the nines to hear someone actually appreciates me. Is that the end of our little chinwag, mate? Because I fancy a cheeky Nando’s, and anyway, I spy a right fit bird just over there and I want to chat her up. Cheers.”
At press time, Barron was hoping to offset some of the negative attention from the news by revealing that the other prince in the song was Prince William.
