MAUPIN, Ore. — Deflated cryptozoologist Sam Pennington expressed his frustration after once again mistaking Dinosaur Jr. lead singer and guitarist J Mascis for the elusive…
NEW YORK — A preview of the upcoming children’s book based on the lyrics of The Hold Steady’s “Stay Positive” revealed a majority of the…
MANCHESTER — New wave obsessive and romantic introvert Jana Chapman is disappointed to find herself in a love triangle that no one could possibly consider…
SEATTLE — Former Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic revealed that he still believes Kurt Cobain went to live on a farm, despite passing away in 1994,…
LONDON — Longtime Rolling Stones manager Joyce Smith finally revealed that she has been deep in a “Weekend at Bernie’s” situation with Keith Richards’ long…
MANCHESTER, England — Ex-Smiths bandmates Morrissey and Johnny Marr were spotted in close proximity of one another at the Oxford Road Tesco Express despite almost…
LOS ANGELES — Iconic rock band Weezer are hard at work trying to decide whether their next album will be one of the more enjoyable…
SURREY, England — Musician Eric Clapton surprised everyone by announcing that his 1992 hit song “Tears in Heaven” is now about the Messiah’s despair that…
NEWINGTON, Conn. — Avowed rockabilly lifer Hanson “Hoo-Doo” Mattimore was arrested by local traffic officials for placing an upright bass in a wig in his…
LOS ANGELES — An errant red shirt in a recent laundry load led party-rock mainstay Andrew W.K. to attempt to convince those around him that…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary musician Neil Young begrudgingly returned to Spotify after two years when he was short on loose change to feed a parking…
MERIDEN, Conn. — Local milquetoast Artie Hangreth embarrassed himself mid-singalong in front of his partner’s friends as he realized he only truly knew the lyrics…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local alternative music fan Devin Entmacher credited his life being saved by art rock band Radiohead despite him actually being rescued by…
BOSTON — Local prog rock drummer Anthony St. Reed of the outfit Milton’s Quill debuted his new cymbal that’s “just for decoration,” confirmed sources who…
CORAM, N.Y. — Local eight-year-old Evie Doyleson was completely turned off by the idea of having to celebrate 311 Day twice due to her recently…