PRINCETON, N.J. — Shore-rock legend Bruce Springsteen confirmed rumors Thursday that he’s keeping guitarist Ray Barone on retainer to accompany him anytime he launches into a story, confused sources reported.
“I guess it’s because I’m old and I don’t want to lug around my Martin D-35 everywhere like I’ve been doing since ‘The River.’ Also I’m wealthy, so I can afford to keep this guy around for whenever that ‘Springsteen silence’ comes on,” said the veteran songwriter. “That’s when I stare into the distance and give my little cue that I’m about to tell the one about crashing my motorcycle or failing my physical for Vietnam or ruing the loss of a particular coffee yogurt I like at Wegmans. Lately these stories have fallen flat a cappella. But now I have Ray.”
Barone, a retired drivers-ed instructor from Freehold, N.J., now trails Springsteen with a guitar and amp Tuesday through Sunday nights.
“Initially there was a lot of confusion, and then trial and error. Sometimes I would play anytime Bruce opened his mouth, which had me playing for things like, ‘I’m just running out to T.J. Maxx for their President’s Day sale’ or ‘Who forgot to change the toilet paper?’ And then there was the time I made the mistake of playing acoustic during an argument he had with his manager Jon Landau. Bruce later advised he wants me to go electric in those moments.”
While the accompaniment adds a boost to increasingly weary or long-winded stories, not everyone is supportive of the addition—least of all Patti Scialfa, the Boss’s wife of 34 years.
“It’s so, so irritating. I keep telling him we don’t need Ray around all the time. Like the other night we were lying in bed and Bruce was recounting our first trip to the Irish coast. Out of nowhere I hear a G chord, then a D, and then suddenly, Ray is rising up from beside the bed—on my side. I was like, ‘Seriously?’ We ended up watching ‘My Cousin Vinny’ with Ray, just in case Bruce wanted to pause it and tell a story. But Bruce fell asleep, so Ray and I ended up watching it. Ray liked it quite a bit—but that’s not the point!”
At press time, Springsteen was auditioning saxophonists to solo during moments he couldn’t think of anything to say.
