NEW YORK — Radiologist and sludge metal rocker Rory Hanson took his future into his own hands on Monday morning when he played his demo CD for an unsuspecting MRI patient, sources who asked to postpone their appointments as a result confirmed.
“The patient looked just like the famous record producer Clive Davis, so I thought this was my chance,” said Hanson, who was recently given a warning that he’d be stripped of his radiology license if he kept playing his original music. “Turns out, you’re not supposed to play your demo CD through the MRI machine, but this was my Beatles’ rooftop moment. Wait, they were already mega famous, so that’s not exactly the same, but you know what I mean. It was like my ‘before they were famous’ Beatles moment. Consider me the Pete Best of radiology.”
Unsuspecting MRI patient Siro Baresi admits he is often confused for a famous record executive before noninvasive medical examinations.
“For the record, I’m not in the music business. I’m just a regular old guy who wears transition lenses. I probably could have avoided all of this if that guy saw that I drove up in a 2004 Saturn with 350,000 miles on it,” explained Baresi while adjusting his glasses. “When it was happening, I just thought the MRI machine was busted or something, but then the kid kept asking ‘You dig it, man? You dig it?’ The good news is, they didn’t find a tumor, but the bad news is I will never get that horrible music out of my head. Not sure which is worse.”
Facility compliance officer Karmela Bai was completing her annual review of the radiology department when she heard loud music coming from the MRI room.
“I immediately knew what was happening,” said Bai while taking an aspirin. “Unfortunately these occurrences are fairly common. Our research shows that 8 out of 10 people with radiology degrees are musicians just hoping for their big break. The other two are usually actors hoping they get to do radiology work on big-time directors. That’s why you see most patients leave here with a hefty bill and a copy of the radiologist’s headshot.”
At press time, Hanson was seen writing a new song called “Ethics Violation,” based on his recent experience, which he couldn’t wait to debut during his next shift.