You rebel, you. Doing your thing in the sun. Blithely walking through life undisturbed. Tossing your hair without care. Sounds like you’re having a “brat summer,” as you should be. Still, one can’t help but wonder where the line is between embodying the pure essence of “brat,” or accidentally showing red flags of narcissistic behavior. Sure, personality disorders run in your family, but you’re different! You’re unique! You’re a cut above the rest. Here are several Charli XCX lyrics from her 2024 album (titled, you guessed it, ‘Brat’) to see which response is aligned with your untroubled sunny days:
Yeah, I heard you talk about me, that’s the word on the street /
You’re obsessin’, just confess it, put your hands up
(from “Von Dutch”)
A. You act naturally and have a healthy awareness of your attraction while at the beach, choosing fits that make you feel the most confident.
B. You know that everyone is obsessed with your body and face-card, which is why you AirDrop your nudes and unwelcomely hit on a tanning couple. When they ask you to leave, you claim to have been there first and plant your umbrella in the ground, making loud videos about how rude others can be on the beach.
When you’re in the mirror, do you like what you see? /
When you’re in the mirror, you’re just looking at me
(from “360”)
A. You only invite out the people you want to see, and that’s OK because life is too short. You get tipsy, but not enough to lose control, just enough to have fun.
B. You are often black-out drunk, and alone. If anyone ever goes out partying with you, you seek revenge by making AI porn with their likeness and send it to their family members.
Who the fuck are you? I’m a brat when I’m bumpin’ that
Now I wanna hear my track, are you bumpin’ that??
(from “365”)
A. You make custom clothes (without any self-consciousness) for your nights out, re-utilizing thrift finds or stitching your own fits together. People love your bold, eye-catching style, a sartorial compliment to any social outing.
B. The only way you can get people to like you is to talk about new music, so you hog the aux cord and force everyone to listen to critic-approved avant-garde pop, name-dropping bands you’ve been backstage with, while party guests actively avoid you.
You say she’s problematic and the way you say it, so fanatic
Think she already knows that you’re obsessed
(from “Mean Girls”)
A. You embark on a spur-the-moment road trip to a famous historic dive bar and remote abandoned theme park with your best friend, followed by a morning spent wandering the coast without telling anyone your whereabouts. You try to live in the present without worrying about the future too much.
B. You borrow your roommate’s car to take a self-care cross country vacation, blaming the theft on “immigrants” and then counter-suing for emotional distress. When you get back, you lie about running in social circles with Glenn Beck when you really meant to say Glen Powell.
I followed you to the bathroom /
But then I felt crazy /
I’m feeling like I’m on fire /
‘Cause we’ve been keeping this a sеcret
(from “Talk Talk”)
A. You go to the bathroom for a discreet vape or bump with beloved friends before dancing the night away with hot strangers. You have a summer fling but end it because setting boundaries and firmly saying “no” has never been a problem for you.
B. A girl is making advances on a guy you’re interested in, so you squirt Visine into her glass and loudly make fun of her when she becomes violently ill. Lie to the staff and deny despite surveillance footage, only to turn the evening’s trauma into a viral front-facing TikTok about the “horrors” you experienced.
‘Cause I’ve been looking at you so long /
Now I only see me
(from “Apple”)
A. You politely decline to bring your friend to the airport since it conflicts with a hot date.
B. You delete a friend’s number for ever asking such a cheugy question, unless they were a status symbol acquaintance that can elevate the clubbing of your “brat girl summer.” Alt answer: maybe, but if they pay you in cigarettes. French brands only.
If you answered A to these questions then good news, you are a well adjusted human. If you answered B then you need to seek help immediately.