ATLANTA — A recent discovery revealed a beloved once-in-a-generation rap song was followed by the most unfunny skit anyone’s ever heard, confirmed sources who have never gotten through the entire six-minute interlude without skipping it.
“It was so cosmically cheesy that it actually made me second guess my adoration for the otherwise greatest rap song to be written since Skee-Lo’s ‘I Wish,’” said lifelong rap fan Reggie Greenspan. “I mean, the skit started off strong. It was a simple premise of two guys talking about ordering a pizza. Then all of a sudden it devolved into a mixture of surface-level puns, youth pastor-equivalent jokes, and even a couple of extremely dated ‘whazzup’ references. In fact, more than half of the album consisted of humor-less sketches. You would think at least one or two would be funny, even if by accident. They really should’ve stuck to music.”
Rap group Syndicate Crew didn’t think it was that bad.
“We all know comedy is subjective and we found this out the hard way,” said Rob “Nefarious B” Watkins. “Pitchfork actually gave our album two ratings. One for the music and one for the comedic value. Somehow the second rating was a negative number. Feels a bit harsh. Either way, we only use rap as a front for our main passion, which is sketch comedy. We were heavily inspired by the comedic greats of Outkast, Kanye West, and Wu-Tang Clan. Someday we hope to be on the Mount Rushmore of rap sketch comedians. Someday.”
Experts noted the curiously long history of comedy and music.
“They don’t go hand in hand at all unless you’re Weird Al, Tenacious D, or Flight of the Conchords, yet musicians keep trying anyway,” said music journalist Renee Boltron. “And fans absolutely are not having it. For example, Dr. Dre is a highly respected rapper and songwriter, but I think we can all agree that ‘The Chronic’ would’ve been better without that one skit where Dre is having a conversation about the military-industrial complex with the Noid. And don’t get me started on the skit about a dog drinking a grown man’s urine on Blink-182’s ‘Dude Ranch.’ Brutal.”
At press time, members of Syndicate Crew announced they were releasing the B-sides to the album which consists of six new skits and no music.