29. Renee Wheeler
Renee Wheeler is a powerful but relatively anonymous country bureaucrat who has been taking hush money from the most powerful man in the O.C. to cover up the fact that she bore his love child. She’s got a lot of moral flexibility, but this is also a woman who absolutely will not budge on zoning laws, so we know she has a backbone. No MAGA, except maybe if she has Tommy Tuberville’s kid or something.
28. Matt Ramsey
You’d think the guy with no problem taking a minor to a strip club and bribing officials for development deals would be pretty conservative, but this guy is too slippery to get locked down into one political ethos. When this guy leaves for Illinois, he buddies up to some fat Chicago Democrats in no time and is probably bulldozing a community center someplace.
27. Carter Buckley
Carter Buckley is a severely alcoholic magazine editor whose dreams of a world-changing magazine creatively titled “Revolution” are far behind him. At this point, he’s probably the guy at the bar hitting on women a little too young and talking about how Gerald Ford wasn’t as bad as people think, but that’s as socially aware as this lush can be.
26. Johnny Harper
Johnny Harper is a youth so troubled and violent that he makes Ryan look like Seth and Seth look like coma universe Seth. If he had lived past his teen years, he would have been on such a cocktail of prescriptions to keep him stable enough to be a cash cow professional surfer, he’d just think MAGA was a new board wax company that wanted him to endorse them.
25. Kirsten Cohen
That’s right, Kirsten Cohen, matriarch of the family, is right here in the middle. We’ll break it down: she’s distrustful of outsiders and poor people, grew up incredibly wealthy and privileged, doesn’t like to think of herself as a bad person but will break any rule she feels like, and often drinks heavily before making business decisions. She’ll vote MAGA and lie about it.
24. Charlotte Morgan
This grifting con-woman seems like she would be the ideal MAGA woman, right down to the blond hair and unlikeability. Paradoxically, however, the very things that make her ideal as one of Donald Trump’s chosen Aryan women make her likely to ditch any ideology at a moment’s notice. Takes one con artist to know another.
23. Jess Sathers
Jess Sathers is a true force of chaos within Orange County and low-key responsible for more misery on the show than anyone, just for kicks. However, her brief stint on the show indicates that Jess is here for a good time, not a long time, and she would barely be able to focus long enough to register to vote. She would probably get into a fight at a rally, though.
22. Lance Baldwin
Lance makes adult movies for discerning audiences, which is to say, skeezy porn. He would be willing to get into politics if it snagged him even a few dollars, and his morals are definitely flexible. He has the moral compass of a seagull and the barbed-wire tattoos of a fratboy. He’s pretty much perfect for MAGA, in other words.
21. Spencer Bullit
He’s a tennis instructor and fucked his student’s mom. Clearly, this guy went to school with at least one of the Trump sons and might be the campaign manager of “Ivanka for President 2032.” He looks greasy, too. Gross.