Evolving as an artist is something every musician must struggle with in order to be fulfilled in their creative identity. Well, every musician except these 8 that is – who made sure they got paid and spent the rest of their time fucking about like drunk toddlers. Here’s our list of musicians who basically decided the first paycheck was enough.
The Mamas and the Papas 
With a handful of early hits and plenty of amphetamines to keep their momentum up, the Ms and the Ps were all set to ride that money train into the sunset. But then, everybody took their dicks out, and the band quite literally fucked off on a fortune.
Primus
C’mon. You all knew Primus was gonna be in here somewhere. Moving on.
Country Bear Jamboree
Though most people don’t know it, after the bears got sick of chilling on tree stumps down in the old holler, they entered an experimental electrical phase that was critically panned. This was due, in part, to the fact that the woods have few reliable sources to power synthesizers.
Hanson
We’re pretty sure these guys started their own kombucha company or something stupid. Whatever, here they are.
The Band on the Titanic
It’s not often reported in history books as it ruins a bit of the romance of their sacrifice, but just moments before this string quartet did one last run of the classics as the Titanic went down, they pre-showed by robbing a bunch of first-class cabins and stuffing their pockets with expensive blue jewelry. Many historians believe this added weight is what held them down as they slowly sank beneath the waves.
This Mariachi Band on the Subway
Why else would they be playing on the subway, in full mariachi uniform, than if they weren’t totally financially secure otherwise? Weirdos.
The 12 Disciples
The bible kind of tapers off after Jesus, well, we won’t give out spoilers – but religious historians believe that the disciples actually used their newly acquired 30 pieces of silver to invest in a hip new wave synth band, featuring Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all playing untuned theremins.
Phil Collins
Mr. Collins has been doing weird shit for five decades and somehow continues to accrue masses of wealth from all of it. Who of you is giving it to him? Why will you not stop?
Please stop paying him now.