Press "Enter" to skip to content
Pre-order the new Hard Times book for a chance to win!

Here’s the Top 284 Custom Characters Banned From Soul Calibur Due to Being Penises

The release of Soul Calibur 6 brings a new character creator mode, which has allowed players to bring great matches such as a toaster vs. your grandma. However, with such freedom, there is always a price we must pay. Bandai Namco has been forced to take action and ban inappropriate characters and guess what? Every single one of them is just a big ole penis.

The staff at Hard Drive teamed up with Bandai Namco to provide you with a list of these banned penises.

  1. Long Duk Dong
  2. Pedro
  3. Throbbin’ Hood
  4. Todd Howard
  5. Dicks Dickscockerson
  6. Lady Penis
  7. Phallow Hal
  8. Shiny Rayquaza w/rabies
  9. James Franco
  10. Big bertha
  11. Dick Wolf
  12. Gumshoe Dick
  13. Medium bertha
  14. My handsome lil fella
  15. Shlongathan
  16. Tony Soprano
  17. Tricky dicky
  18. Jake The “Snake” Roberts
  19. Voldo’s Bulge-O
  20. Luey Sikay
  21. Eric.
  22. Garfield
  23. God (interpret as you will)
  24. Beef Chuzzler
  25. Big McLargehuge
  26. Blast Shaftlong
  27. Cock-a-doodle-fuck
  28. Dave
  29. Harry Potter
  30. Hot Rod Johnson
  31. John Thomas
  32. Khok Monger
  33. Master Bastian
  34. Nicolas Cage
  35. Phal Collins
  36. Phillip Yorhole
  37. Spluge Dudestick
  38. Wang Chung
  39. Wangzeif
  40. Mr. Spank and Watch
  41. Spider-Man’s Web Shooter
  42. Link’s Penis
  43. Shiek’s Penis
  44. The Castle Spire From the Cover of The Little Mermaid
  45. Bishop in a turtleneck
  46. Dirk Diggler
  47. Jake The Snake
  48. Mushroom Head
  49. Officer Dangle
  50. Dirk Diggler
  51. Goku
  52. Swinglow Dickinuts
  53. Urethra, The Divine One
  54. Chub Li
  55. Dick Van Dyke
  56. Ben Shapiro
  57. Richard Johnson P.H.D (pretty huge DICK, haha!)
  58. Former VP Thick Cheney
  59. Mara
  60. Mr. Xenomorph
  61. Throbin Thicke
  62. The Space Mapeen in Doom
  63. The Main Veins Pain Train
  64. Schlong John Silver
  65. Toad
  66. Whitey Buldger
  67. Captain Schlong
  68. 8=============D~~~~~~
  69. Arthur Mordong
  70. Big Luther
  71. C. Hode
  72. Dr. Pissrespect
  73. John Marsdong
  74. Lance Manyon
  75. One-Eyed Purple-Headed Warrior
  76. xXxSephirothVegetaDongerkxXx
  77. おちんちん
  78. thiccmin (a dick-shaped Pikmin)
  79. The Big Dude
  80. Wangbraham Lincock
  81. Adrian Brody as The Peanis
  82. Big Cow
  83. Gray Dick Son
  84. Hugh G. Penis
  85. James and the Giant Peen
  86. Mystery Science Peeper 3000
  87. One Large Testicle With An Eyeball In The Middle
  88. Sonic the Edge Hog
  89. Steven
  90. 8=====)<<<<<
  91. Dong Hog
  92. Hanger
  93. My penis!!!
  94. Dane Cock
  95. Ben Shapeeno
  96. Hugh Jackin Man
  97. Jordan Peenerson
  98. Konkey Dong
  99. Regular Dane Cook
  100. The United States Dongress
  101. Throbbin Williams
  102. David Arquette
  103. Dick Army
  104. Dick Tracy’s Estranged Brother, Penis Tracy
  105. The 1999 Richard Nixon biopic “Dick,” but with arms and legs
  106. The Stunt Penis from “There’s Something About Mary”
  107. Figrin Dan and The Modal Nodes
  108. A Robust Serving Of The King’s Sausage
  109. A Vanilla Frothy From Wendy’s
  110. ASS
  111. Big Dick In Little China
  112. Christian Thriller Author Ted Pecker
  113. Dildo Baggins
  114. E.T. The Extra Todger
  115. Edward FingerDicks
  116. Foreskin And Seven Pears Ago
  117. Guest Account
  118. LewdDick Wang MeatPython’s “Chode To Joy”
  119. Player 2
  120. Santa’s Sack
  121. The Japanese Invasion Of Pearl Necklace
  122. Treebeard
  123. Voldo Alternate Foreskin
  124. Zelda’s Skin Flute
  125. Bipedal Pusheen
  126. Bubba Hung Penis
  127. Chad Dillion cooper
  128. Dick Grayson
  129. Duck Hunt Dick
  130. Fruit of the loom
  131. Just Lunning’s dad
  132. Malcolm GladCock
  133. Mario super mushroom
  134. Mike Hawk
  135. Monkey Dick Luffy
  136. Nile Rogers
  137. Professor Laidton
  138. Pibb Xtra
  139. Big Sausage Pizza
  140. Dr. Dick
  141. Little Elvis
  142. P.E.N. 15
  143. Penis Character Template (Remove Before Ship Date!)
  144. Benedict Cumberschwants
  145. Cock Lesnar
  146. Dick Tracy
  147. I.P. Freely
  148. Knob Thomas
  149. Penus Williams
  150. Sackboy
  151. Walker, Texas Dangler
  152. Wank Hill
  153. Dildo Baggins
  154. Michael Chiklis in Family Guy
  155. Donger Kong
  156. Paul Hymen
  157. Anthony Weiner
  158. Shai Hulud
  159. Yoshimitsu
  160. Mayonetta
  161. Sans’ Undertail
  162. Dongledoink, the Genital Elf
  163. Hog Thickly, PI (Penis Investigator)
  164. Vein-geta
  165. Dick Cheney
  166. Goblin Cock
  167. Baby Abcde
  168. BJ Blazkowicz
  169. David Blowie
  170. Dong DeLouise
  171. Jizz Khalifa
  172. Limp Bizkit, The Entire Band
  173. Mark Spitz
  174. Milton Frenum
  175. Milton Frenum: Dick Economist
  176. One Of The Sandworms From The Movie ‘Dune’
  177. Phallus Cooper
  178. Prick Astley
  179. Saggy Stardust
  180. The Esteemed Dr. Reginald Von Westingham III
  181. Tool, The Band
  182. Walugi’s Nose
  183. Cockdom Hearts
  184. Daniel Dong-Lewis
  185. Dick Cheney
  186. Dong-key Kong
  187. Foreskin-nite
  188. Incocknito Tab
  189. Jon Snipped
  190. King Droopa
  191. Lara Cock
  192. Little Luther
  193. Masturbate Chief
  194. Penis-chu
  195. Solid Snake
  196. The Ol’ French-Canadian Left Hook
  197. Tunnel Snakes Rule
  198. A Famous Person, but Their First Name or Part of Their Last Name Rhymes with Dick
  199. Dic Ocasek, lead singer of 80s New Wave band The Cocks
  200. Ernest P. Worrell (The P. Is for Penis)
  201. Host of @Midnight Chris Hardpenis
  202. Lock, Cock, and Two Smoking Barrels (Of Cock)
  203. Long Dong Silver
  204. My Stepdad
  205. Professor Cock and Balls
  206. The Hurt Cocker
  207. Waluigis Fuck Stick
  208. Penis McWenus
  209. Schlong Dong Silver
  210. Wang Chung
  211. Every Creature From Spore
  212. The Donger Party
  213. fertility statue golem
  214. the prostate exam mascot
  215. Wank (Link, but a penis)
  216. DICK DICKINGTON THE DREAD DICKLORD OF DICKSYLVANIA
  217. 9s(acks) from Nier: Automata
  218. Dad Preparing his Penis for “Accidental” Reveal to Instill a Lifetime of Jealousy and Awe in Adolescent Son
  219. The Hebrew Hammer
  220. Hugh G. Scrotum
  221. A Giraffe With a Real Thick Neck
  222. Akuma Loveryourface
  223. Bang-jo Kaspewie
  224. Bioshock (‘Cause it’s always a lighthouse)
  225. Bulbous, sore
  226. Cayde 6”
  227. Chub Zero
  228. Circumscizor
  229. Cox McCloud
  230. D. Bison
  231. DeezJay
  232. Dongument Valley
  233. Double Draggin’
  234. Dovahpeen
  235. Dr. Willy
  236. E. Honda (The “E” stands for “Erection The Size Of A”)
  237. Elite Meat Agents
  238. Fallout Seventy Dicks
  239. Funky Dong
  240. Girthworm Jim
  241. Goat Stimulator
  242. Guile
  243. Hung Lao
  244. Joel and Ellies
  245. John Wayne Hobbit
  246. Juri Thrabyitselfisasbigasmywholepenis
  247. Lanky Dong
  248. Lethal Enforcer
  249. Ludonarrative Piss-in-this
  250. My Final Form
  251. Packin’ Man
  252. Rayman’s Legend
  253. Reggie Feels-Amazing
  254. Sagat Ahugepenis
  255. Scratchit and Wank
  256. Slippy
  257. Spelunky
  258. Spike Peegel
  259. Splosion Man
  260. Super Meat Boy
  261. Superman 64cm
  262. The Ezio Erection
  263. The Gamergator
  264. Tip Boy
  265. Up-In-Those-Guts Man
  266. Vash the Deferens
  267. Womb Raider
  268. Wood you kindly
  269. Jon Hamm
  270. Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee
  271. Shaft
  272. Big Dick is Back in Town
  273. Jefferson Tallpipe
  274. Long Dong Silver
  275. Hole Hog
  276. Peter Cock-N’-Tail
  277. Benny & The Jets & Also Benny’s Penis
  278. Dear Evan Handjob
  279. Dick Clark’s New Years Rockin’ Dick
  280. Dr. Keporkian
  281. Gorge Clooney
  282. Howard The DIck
  283. Maroon 5 Incher
  284. Ryan Gosdong

 

Want to support Hard Times? Buy a shirt. We’ll use the money to write more articles.