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Employees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by Weeds

TAMPA, Fla. — Employees returning to the local offices of Seabass Accounting & Tax Services this week were reportedly shocked to discover their cubicles overrun with weeds after working from home for the last five months.

“I used to be in here every single day, grinding away, making my cubicle pretty for when my co-workers visit,” said accountant Danielle McCarthy. “Then you miss like one day and suddenly five months have passed. Just the thought of fixing this place up again is totally overwhelming.”

Sources say that the essential personnel at Seabass appear to have done no cleanup whatsoever during the last five months. Employees have reported seeing weeds sprouting in cubicles, cockroaches hiding under furniture, and even sticks and shells littering the floors by the employee restrooms.

“If our employees would like a clean work environment then they need to come in every day and clean it up themselves,” said branch manager Timothy Cornwell. “We just don’t have the budget to hire an office admin. Now then, are you looking to purchase a new home any time soon?”

While the mess among the office has raised some safety concerns, some employees are more upset about surprise layoffs that occurred in their absence.

 

“The saddest part is that while we were all gone, my absolute best friend Marina was let go,” McCarthy said, reading from a parting letter Marina had left for her. “They’ve replaced her with some cheap contractor named Rodney, and he’s just the worst. Another boring jock co-worker. Maybe I should just quit…”

At press time, the frustrated leadership of Seabass Accounting & Tax Services were reportedly weighing the option of starting fresh with a brand new company in a new office rather than deal with all of the weeds.

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