“The Fox and The Hound” is a Classic animated Disney feature about two best friends who, upon reaching adulthood, found themselves on opposing sides of cruel traditions. And a real life version of that adorable story took place on the streets of Seattle last night when a riot cop beat the ever-loving shit out of his childhood best friend.
“At first I was like ‘oh fuck, stop pepper spraying us.’ and then I was like ‘I know that dude,” recalled protestor Juan Atkins, “We used to be tight. I actually taught him to drive stick shift. which is ironic because he fractured my eye socket with a baton. Is that irony? I’m not really thinking straight on account of my severe concussion.”
Fellow protestor Andre Unstoppable was witness to the “heartwarming” moment.
“When I saw those two lock eyes in recognition of the bond they once held before that riot cop hit him with the weight of their chosen life paths I knew I was watching a fairytale story,” recalled Unstoppable. “It’s almost like time stopped and their lives together flashed before their eyes before they realized how helpless they’ve become to the gravity of our given societal roles. I still think that fucking cop should be strung up by the balls and skinned alive. But it was sweet, nonetheless.”
While a reunion between old friends may be recognized by a stranger it may not always be obvious to those being reunited.
“My vision was obscured by the paint on my goggles, but once he started yelling ‘stop assaulting me,’ I realized this was the dude who taught me how to play ‘Pokemon,’” said officer Tony McClutchy. “It truly is a small world. It was a real Disney moment. I wonder if he recognized me before I fractured his eye socket?”
Ofc. McClutchy later insisted that he planned to send a gift to his “old pal’s jail cell” thanks in part to having earned thousands in riot pay.
“Seriously, we’re getting so many bonuses for dressing up like soldiers and attacking citizens, it should be illegal.”
Unfortunately, no video footage of the incident could be found after the only known videographer of the serendipitous moment was hauled into an unmarked van and his camera confiscated by [redacted].