NEW YORK — Executives at top corporate media properties Fox News and CNN promised that all of their journalists will remain safe from targeted assassinations by the IDF by continuing to not report any of the news coming out of Palestine, sources confirmed.
“Fox News has proudly kept its journalism ‘America First’ for the last two decades. We don’t care what is happening in the rest of the world, our reporters are on the ground here in America finding proof that Obama is a Kenyan nationalist who colluded with Russia to discredit President Trump’s win in 2016,” said Fox News Media spokesperson Erol Hanley. “The American people don’t need to know about what Israel is up to. Our viewers are more interested in how President Trump is doing a perfect job, and if anything bad happens, it’s because Joe Biden and the radical left fringe in Washington are creating Antifa super soldiers who are going to invade your town and kidnap your children.”
CNN representatives had similar reasoning for not making reporting on Israel’s war crimes a priority.
“We have heard that the entire Al Jazeera journalism team was killed in Israel, and as sad as that is, we cannot be certain that the bullets that entered their bodies came from Israeli forces. For all we know, they could have had all those bullets in them for months, and they just happened to explode in their bodies all at once. We don’t actually know how bullets and guns work,” said CNN executive Lynn Fleming. “We’ve talked with the IDF media relations team and they assure us that not a single person has died in Gaza for the last 18 months, and we simply have to take their word for it. They have no reason to lie.”
Independent media analyst Carla Flores says this is all part of a plan to make Americans blind to the atrocities happening in Gaza.
“People love to imagine scenarios of what they would do if they were alive when Hitler was perpetrating a genocide, but now one is happening in real time and most people have no idea,” said Flores. “The top news outlets are more interested in ratings and partisan political talking heads endlessly debating nonsense that doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Over 200 Palestinian journalists have been killed in Gaza during the Israeli occupation. These war crimes continue to be ignored because the American media system is bought and sold and only exists to sell you more pharmaceuticals to fix your chronically dry penis or some stupid shit.”
At press time, The New York Times publishes a new editorial from Benjamin Netanyahu titled “You Would Have to Be A Dumbass to Call this a Genocide.”