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Dry Cleaner Calls David Byrne To Remind Him They’ve Had Giant Suit For 30 Years Now

NEW YORK — A local dry cleaner called Talking Heads frontman David Byrne this morning informing him that they still have the giant suit he dropped off nearly 30 years ago, sources report.

“Yeah, I was going through the racks of unclaimed stuff and found this huge suit and thought it was weird because I remember some scrawny dude who seemed equal parts nervous and confident bringing it in decades ago,” remarked owner Pete Esposito. “It’s a nice suit and all so I figured he’d probably want it back and probably had a hell of a time wondering what happened. Plus, it’s been taking up the extra-wide, extra-tall garment rack, and it’s the only one we have like that. Anyway, I left him a voicemail.”

Byrne, when reached for comment, confirmed this version of events.

“Oh, yeah, the suit. I have a couple of those so I just must’ve forgotten to pick up that one,” the singer explained. “I think people are under the misconception that those are a regular part of my wardrobe, but I keep a healthy rotation of everyday items like shag carpet suits, and other monochromatic items cinched together. Usually, I keep those giant ones in storage, so that’s probably why I didn’t notice it was missing. Plus, getting those things pressed is a real pain in the balls, so it’s kind of one of those outta sight, outta mind things.”

“It’s not like I still wear them around the house or anything. That would be weird, right?” he added.

Music and fashion critics were quick to note that incidents such as this were not out of the norm.

“Musicians are just like the rest of us and occasionally forget things, clothing included,” noted fashion blogger, Heather Clark. “Particularly, these people are often eccentrics who own numerous garish and bizarre clothing items, so it’s probably more common to lose something like a giant suit or a dress made entirely out of raw meat. So to the average person, something that might stand out as missing would likely get lost in the pile for someone like David Byrne.”

At press time, the dry cleaner was asking if that weird European lady ever picked up her bird costume.