NEW YORK – A local BDSM play party took a turn for the stressful when dominant “Silvan E” absentmindedly fed Nutella to their puppy play partner, leading to immediate worry about possible chocolate poisoning effects on their submissive, leather-clad sources confirmed.
“Everything was going great,” said Silvan while wearing a gimp mask and stroking their favorite bamboo cane. “I was in this big loveseat and Lappy came crawling over all fours, wearing the collar I got him for our anniversary. And there was this thing of Nutella just sitting on the coffee table. So, without even thinking I put a little on my stomach and, of course, he licked it right off. But then I immediately realized what I had done and started freaking out. Everyone knows dogs can’t have chocolate, and I was like, ‘oh my god, I have to get help right away.’”
The incident reportedly led to an immediate mood shift at the event, with multiple witnesses recounting Silvan hurriedly removing Lappy’s mask and checking for indications of pupil dilation.
“I was enjoying the rush of having searing candle wax drip down my nipples blindfolded,” said host “Jesse X.” “When, all of a sudden, Silvan is getting all worked up, asking how close the nearest ER is. “Lappy seemed fine to me. I mean, he was basically passed out on the floor but I think that was more due to working a double and taking one too many dabs that night than anything related to the scene at hand.”
After some emergency group coping and relaxation techniques were deployed, Silvan summoned the fortitude to call a pet poison helpline.
“I always ask how old the dog is and how much they weigh,” said agent Susan Harrington, a 1-800-Pet-Help representative for five years. “And when they told me ‘28, 165 lbs, and completely hairless’ I thought they were putting me on. I just said they should take him to an emergency vet because this shit is way past my pay grade. But I still can’t believe that dog is real. And if it is, well, it’s an absolute miracle of science.”
At press time, kitten play aficionado and fellow attendee “Donna Gato” was stopped before they could try and eat a decorative lily plant sitting on the dining room table.