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David Zaslav Greenlights Sexy Thriller About Heroic TV Executive Fighting Crime Written by David Zaslav and Starring David Zaslav

LOS ANGELES — Warner Bros. Discovery CEO and president David Zaslav announced a new Max exclusive titled “David’s Law” which will feature Zaslav as the sole writer and actor on the show, confirmed multiple television executives that recently purchased Final Draft.

“‘David’s Law’ tells the story of a mild-mannered lawyer who fights for the little guy in court during the day, and then fights crime on the streets of Los Angeles at night. He also has tons of sex with the most beautiful women in the world who all want to be with him because he’s handsome, rich, and everyone loves him,” said Zaslav while trying to figure out how to save a copy of the pilot script to PDF. “The main focus of the show will be David trying to take down evil labor unions that are stealing money out of the pockets of hard-working entertainment entrepreneurs. The hardest part so far is getting AI to generate original scripts that aren’t just slightly modified episodes of ‘Angel.’ And playing every character might be exhausting, but I’m willing to do it to show how easy acting actually is.”

Labor organizers in Hollywood universally panned the announcement of the show.

“Apparently the show is going to have a 200-million dollar budget per episode, this is just another example of the people running these companies hoarding money. One episode of ‘David’s Law’ could meet almost every demand we are making in hopes of being treated fairly for our work,” said screenwriter Edie Rice. “And we know Netflix is working on more reality television in order to cut out writers and actors. They already went into production on a reality hybrid reality/dating show where beautiful women bake cakes for Ted Sarandos in order to win his heart. I don’t fucking know. We live in Hell.”

Popular online influencers report they have been contacted by Warner Bros. Discovery about making content to build hype for “David’s Law.”

“I got an email saying they would pay me $50,000 for a 30-second TikTok dancing in front of a promo poster for ‘David’s Law’ and I had to say no. I have to maintain some dignity after all,” said popular Tiktoker Madi Hammond known as “Madi For Dance.” “I’ll do paid partnerships with makeup brands that test on animals, pharmaceutical companies, but pretending to like a show about an old man crushing the working class is a bridge too far.”

“David’s Law” will start its initial 100-episode run starting in September streaming on Max.