PLATTSBURGH, N.Y. — The seven-year age gap separating local couple Alison Connors and Edgar Lawrence continues to be a major hurdle for their relationship, especially when reminiscing about their favorite Nicktoons, sources close to the couple confirmed.
“I love Edgar, I really do. But sometimes I wonder if I can spend my life with a guy who doesn’t understand my ‘Doug’ references. I always refer to him as ‘the pickle in my coleslaw and the sugar in my tea,’ and he just looks at me like I’m an idiot,” said Connors. “I know he means well — he’s got a kind heart — but when he tells me that ‘As Told by Ginger’ was the best cartoon on Nickelodeon, I honestly feel like diving head first into oncoming traffic.”
Unsurprisingly, Lawrence believes his live-in girlfriend is completely mistaken about the quality of early Nicktoons.
“I would occasionally catch an episode of ‘Ren and Stimpy’ on ‘Nick at Night’ when I was a kid. I remember my parents thought it was funny, but I couldn’t turn it off fast enough,” said Lawrence. “I was lucky enough to grow up right when Nickelodeon was hitting its stride: I had ‘Rocketpower,’ ‘The Wild Thornberrys,’ and a little show called ‘Spongebob Square Pants’ that is still on today… maybe you’ve heard of it? Clearly, it was better than some dumb show about a wallaby with a frog neighbor or whatever.”
Family therapist Dr. Kendra Yuen noted in her new book “The Cable Box Effect” that the biggest stressor for millennial couples is often pop culture reference points.
“When two people come together, they sometimes don’t realize that even a two-year age gap can be extremely hard to overcome,” said Dr. Yuen. “There was one couple I recently counseled who disagreed over which seasons of ‘The Simpsons’ were the best: now, it’s obvious that 3-8 were the prime, but tell that to my ex-husband, who somehow thought seasons 10-14 were when they finally peaked. These kinds of compatibility markers are often overlooked for more superficial factors like attractiveness, health, and financial stability.”
Thankfully, Connors and Lawrence were able to find common ground in the fact that “Hey Arnold” completely sucked and the titular character was a giant wuss.