Tyler Roland
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LOS ANGELES — Progressive metal band Tool recently announced the “Lateralus Gold” experience, which involves fans paying $10,000 to massage…
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Steve Packosky
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ANAHEIM, Calif. — Recently deceased grandmother of six Dorothy Roddenbury selfishly had a funeral on the same day Anthrax was…
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Laurie Bolewitz
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RICHMOND, Va. — Metal band GWAR’s newest lead vocalist was announced via a giant white steam cloud of creamy ejaculate…
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Steve Packosky
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COPENHAGEN — Prolific metal singer King Diamond hoped nobody would notice his eponymous band’s new concept album “Infernal Curse” followed…
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Steve Packosky
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BAY CITY, Mich. — President of R&L Composites Inc. Stan Bratonski had just about enough of nu-metal bands breaking into…
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S.L. Neechski
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MILWAUKEE, Wisc. — Local metalhead Zach Schmidt and goth Brandon Cleary got into a heated slap-fight over who was entitled…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — Local baseball fans and metalheads discovered that they shared an affinity to drink in parking lots, while one…
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Ryan Dondero
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Local thrash metal fan Zack Holloway reportedly plays doom metal records at 78 RPM in a desperate…
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Jason Clemence
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local death metal band Sinister Descent unveiled a brand new logo after bassist Saul Cohen had the…
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Steve Packosky
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LONDON — Legendary British metal band Iron Maiden found themselves writing a song about the British Credit Crisis of 1772…
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