Category: Hard Drive
2220 stories found
You Cannot Have a Sex Scandal If You Have Never Had Sex
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My fellow Americans: First, let me thank you for the overwhelming support I have received just a month into my…
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Kevin Feige Announces First Marvel “What If…?” Story Will Explore What If Captain America Was Straight
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LOS ANGELES — President of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige revealed today that the first episode of the upcoming Disney+ show…
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Nintendo Executive Solemnly Reports Last N64 at Shitty McDonald’s Has Finally Stopped Working
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KANKAKEE, Ill. — In a mid-afternoon press conference, Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser confirmed that the last Nintendo 64…
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Everyone Nervously Avoiding Kirby Who Ate Louis CK
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NEW YORK — Fans and performers at the Comedy Cellar last night reportedly kept their distance from comedy newcomer Kirby,…
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‘I’m Funny’ Thinks Man Hitting Send on Tweet That Will Ruin His Life
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BOSTON — Blissfully unaware of the drastic ramifications the action would soon wreak upon him, local man Elliott Cole recently…
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Doug Bowser Slowly Walks Off Camera to the Left During Nintendo Direct About Joy-Con Drift
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REDMOND, Wash. — With his body gradually approaching the edge of the YouTube video’s border, Nintendo of America president Doug…
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Gamer Emotionally Unprepared to Control Character After Harrowing Cutscene
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EAST LANSING, Mich. — Feeling a sense of panic as the in-game camera gradually swiveled back around behind his character,…
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D&D Party Member Rolls Perception Check to See If DM Knows What The Fuck He’s Doing
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NEW YORK — On a hunch inspired by a very scatterbrained verbal description of the dungeon chamber the party had…
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I’ve Been in the Army a Whole Year and Haven’t Gotten to Yell ‘Reload!’ Once
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Last year, I joined the US Army for all the typical reasons: to serve my country, to get a free…
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