Joe Rumrill
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September 30, 2024
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local deadbeat Griffin Carson adopted the stance of vinyl-only “audiophile” coinciding with his ex-girlfriend’s understandable decision to…
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Ben Friedman
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September 29, 2024
MINNEAPOLIS — Local highly-observant man Gavin Wells recently started to sincerely wish he was dumb enough to experience genuine happiness,…
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Matt Husser
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September 29, 2024
FOLSOM, Calif. — Country singer Carlson Swagger brought his cowboy bootlickin’ brand of lawful country music to Folsom Prison today…
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Steve Packosky
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September 28, 2024
WASHINGTON — Ohio senator and vice presidential hopeful J.D. Vance is enjoying a high favorability rating from men who misconstrue…
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Courtney Hill
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September 22, 2024
HAGERSTOWN, Md. — Local millennial Cassie Dunbar recently reached the very last Zillow listing and immediately pivoted to scrolling through…
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Sean Fallon
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September 21, 2024
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Conservative podcaster Ben Shapiro called for a boycott of Zoltar machines after his wish to become…
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Colleen Nerney
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September 20, 2024
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local woman Andrea Wellson is reportedly considering a risky and in-depth plan to commit identity theft to…
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Zac Lux
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September 19, 2024
ATLANTA — The well-played guitar of local man Cody Marksen entered its next chapter as a wall decoration in his…
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Livy Berry
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September 18, 2024
DENVER — A group of left-leaning bank robbers decided to start a recent holdup by acknowledging the crime they were…
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The Hard Times Staff
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September 17, 2024
WASHINGTON — Ronald Rowe Jr, acting director of the Secret Service, held a press conference today to announce that he…
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