Ben Friedman
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CHICAGO — A tourist’s evening was saved after a local Midwest crust punk was nice enough to return their missing…
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Travis Tack
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BANGOR, Maine — Foo Fighters singer Dave Grohl was left with no choice but to tell his second family about…
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Steve Packosky
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DALLAS — Local middle-aged Slayer fan Doug Ulner was immediately prescribed medication to address his presumed high blood pressure upon…
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Steve Packosky
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GREEN BAY, Wisc. — Local man Jason Broderick committed a grievous error in pressing the “Crazy Train” button instead of…
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Carson Kile
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CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. — Archaeologists reportedly uncovered ancient cave paintings that depict the very first telling of the Marilyn Manson rib…
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Steve Packosky
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We all know the rules: try your hardest to be a good person and spend your life committing honorable deeds…
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Trevor Graham
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MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Families with young children across the country announced their plans to find you in a restaurant and…
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Patrick Crooks
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SAEGERTOWN, Pa. — Local punk Brian McFee assured everyone that his newfound wealth would have no impact on his worldview…
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PORTLAND, Ore. — White progressive voters across the country announced they were excited by how many different races, genders, and…
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Kyle Donley
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APPLETON, Wis. — Local woman Allyson Boyle was completely turned off after discovering that her date Doug Innis referred to…
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