WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is preparing to deliver a speech entitled, “I Have an Even Better Dream, Possibly the Best Dream” at the National Mall today to attempt to cement his own dream’s superiority to that of civil rights leader and icon Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
“‘Doctor Martin Luther King, incredible dreamer, the best, who can dream better than that guy?’ right? Guess what? I can!” boasted Trump on a phone call with Fox News earlier this morning. “MLK, good dreamer, I’m sorry, not the best. Trump is the best with dreams. I’m having huge dreams, very good dreams, almost every night. One time I dreamt I was an owl, and I was flying over a whole bunch of dinosaurs with huge jugs. I’d like to see someone try to top that. I’ve got- listen- I saved Ameri- there’s- I’ve got a speech that’s gonna dream bigger than anything. The best. They’re gonna be calling it Martin Luther Trump day after today, I promise you that.”
Trump’s bizarre claim that he would upstage MLK was met with immediate criticism online, causing those in his inner circle to rush to the president’s defense.
“The president has every right to inform the world and especially any naysayers about the unrivaled quality of his dreams,” began Attorney General Pam Bondi. “In fact, I’ve never met anyone in my life who sleeps like the president. Even in his sleep, he’s a leader, and the world will be better for hearing the contents of his dreams, which are sure to put some others’ dreams to shame.”
Homeland Security Advisor and Jewish Nazi Stephen Miller was available to comment on the timing of this speech overlapping with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Day.
“This has nothing to do with whoever you’re talking about,” said Miller. “Today is just simply about a great man who has a dream to share, possibly a dream involving his struggle or his fight. I’m not here to give the President any notes, but ‘My struggle’ or ‘My fight’ does have a nice ring to it for a speech name. Maybe even a whole book.”
At press time, Trump was said to be roaming the halls of the White House practicing the line “Judging someone by the content of their character isn’t even hot!”
