Let’s get straight to the facts: strong, empowered women are incredible. From Kathleen Hannah to Michelle Obama to pretty much any roller derby player there is no shortage of feminist icons to inspire us. But there is an unsung hero out there who has preserved in the face of incredible odds. I’m talking about octogenarian Gertrude Tenenbaum of Levittown, Pennsylvania who after 60 years is still driving despite being a danger on the road to herself and everyone around her.
She’s paid her dues to society, so what if she drives 20 miles per hour under the speed limit? She worked two jobs and raised five kids, she can take all the damn time she wants. If anything, everyone else on the road should be getting out of her way.
Now I know you’re probably thinking, “can’t she just get around some other way” or some bullshit. In case you haven’t noticed, we live in a country that happens to hate public transportation. So unless someone can wave a magic wand and change our infrastructure overnight, you can’t blame this boss babe for driving the wrong way down a one-way road.
Gertrude’s not going to let anyone tell her what she can or can’t do: not her kids, not the assisted living orderlies, and especially not the government. Anyone who believes the state should step in and revoke this queen’s license might as well put her in a Handmaid’s dress. Think about the fact that in some countries women still can’t drive!
Think of the blinker that has been on for the past ten miles as a beacon of freedom.
Sure the insurance premium for her 2002 Toyota Corolla is $4K a month due to multiple moving violations, expired registration tags, not changing the oil for 15,000 miles, weekly fender benders, her pending vehicular manslaughter trial, and that time she crashed into a JOANN Fabric store. But that’s a small price to pay to not have to be relegated to taking the bus.
So if you see her on the road, salute this hero from a safe distance. Or at the very least, pull the stop sign out of her front bumper.