Everybody is aware of John Mellencamp’s befuddling “suckin’ on chili dogs” line, so we sat down with the aging rocker to learn the real meaning of his 1982 hit “Hurts So Good.”
We’ve been hearing this song in department stores and doctor’s office waiting rooms our whole lives, so it was nice to hear its meaning directly from the source. Unfortunately, his response ended up being much more than we had expected, so much so that we can only present you with a portion of the interview’s transcript.
The Hard Times: Hi, Mr. Mellencamp, it’s very nice to meet you!
John Mellencamp: Likewise!
HT: You’ve had a number of hits throughout your career, but we want to focus on “Hurts So Good” in particular. Can you tell us what that song is about?
JM: Oh, I thought it was obvious. That song is about how intense my first sexual experience with nipple clamps was.
HT: Excuse me?
JM: It was 1978, and I went to an S&M club in downtown Los Angeles called The Pain Pit. The sheer exhilaration I felt when that clamp first bit down on my left nipple is indescribable. I just had to write a song about it.
HT: Oh, good for you, Mr. Mellencamp. We just heard the song on the radio on the way to this interview, so we’re surprised it has such graphic subject matter.
JM: What did you think it was about? I mean, I’m the guy who sings about deepthroating chili dogs. The world should already know how much of a freak I am.
HT: Good point.
JM: While we’re on the subject, I was just at the Fuck Dungeon on Friday night. Do you want to see all the bruises I accumulated?
The conversation went on for another half hour after that, but we’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say we certainly had not anticipated listening to a 73-year-old man walk us through the most recent nipple bruises he’d collected when we set out to do that interview. At least now we’ve got some closure on the true meaning of one of the two Mellencamp songs that we know. Remember to put your hands over your kids’ ears the next time this song comes on at a Dodgers game, and be careful which color bandana you carry in your back left pocket, apparently, you may be sending some unintended signals.